A frog, chillaxin' on a lily pad.
An Apple-Butter-Fly.
a pear, made of various fruits.
...And this.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Sara
I was recently told by my cousin, Sara, that her life was lacking fulfillment because of my lack of blogging lately (Okay, so maybe you just said you get bored not having more to read... but I like my wording better!), so I decided to make a new post. Of what, you ask? I have no idea. I'm too lazy to actually write about something meaningful, so I'm not going to. Plus I'm too off-of-my-meds to be able to think straight, so anything other than nonsense would just be.. Well, nonsensical! Soo.. This nonsense is for you.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Letter of Hope
This is my letter of hope- It's a letter we write to the present and future girls at CFC when we are leaving the Center. I just thought I'd share mine:
When I first began my journey at the Center, I was terrified, to say the least. I was afraid that they'd take away the only life I knew. I was afraid of failing. I was afraid of succeeding. I was afraid of the unknown.. And most of all, I was afraid that I'd never find myself again- that my soul had already died, and even if I tried my hardest, I'd still be powerless against this monster.
This is one of the things I had to learn for myself. Over time, I've come to realize that though sometimes it feels as if our very entity is wasting away, our souls are still stronger than we think. The worth and importance of us- of you, of your soul, is immeasurable.
And so it never dies.
When I look at each one of you, I see a perfect world shining your eyes. I only wish you could see it in yourselves, as well. If we only find the love within ourselves, then anywhere we go, we're home. Though sometimes it seems impossible to imagine, we CAN get through the darkness and find our way. Love will find a way. Happiness will find a way. Hope will find a way.
So, if you aren't happy with the direction you're going in, change the direction you're going in. If things aren't going the way you want, fight for the change you do want.
You are the one in charge of your own destiny. It's up to you to make the things happen in your life that you want to have happen. Happiness is found from within yourself and those choices that you make.
I've personally learned that if you aren't sure what to do, the best thing to do is to get down on your knees and ask for help. Your higher power is always there and willing to help, as long as you are willing to let him. (or her!)
It's tough, but with patience and a willingness to work, the pain will ease. I know each of us has endured many seemingly unfair trials and given more pain than we feel it possible to handle in our lives- but each one of us has remained standing strong through the storm. We don't always understand the why's, but with time- and if we are willing- we can learn from each one. If we choose to learn from those and hold on to those fond memories of the happy times in life, life will once again be all you can imagine and MORE.
So, if you're going to doubt something, doubt your limits.. Because you are truly limitless.
I have confidence in all of you and your capabilities, and I hope you can, too.
As I finish writing this, I realize that it's a bit scattered.. and that's okay. We aren't striving for perfection.. Just for love and hope that it will get better.
And it will.
♥ Mary Lynn Bennett
Monday, February 8, 2010
Center For Change!
So here it goes.. I replied to someone on a message board who was asking questions about the center, so I figured I'd post it here to let you know more about it!
So I'm answering questions here.. Stay with me! Loves!
I'm not sure exactly how many beds are on the units.. Maybe16 On IP? 16-20 on RTC? That's just my guess though. I just got out Jan 21st, so I'm trying to remember the # of rooms by counting in my head.. lol :)
I believe they have 6-12 IOP/Day treatment patients at a time, though I could be wrong. We didn't really work with them, just exchanged pleasantries in passing.
They have a lot of outings there. You can't go on phase 1, but once you get to phase 2 (Which takes a minimum of two weeks to get to), you get to go on an outing on Fridays and Saturdays- as well as church on Sundays if you want to. There are like 6 churches you can go to- but only one a week. So like one week it'll be catholic, the next week Methodist.. Etc.
When you reach phase two, you also go on a lunch outing with your dietitian- which is always a highlight! You get to choose anywhere you want and don't have to pay. It's great :) lol
Once you get to RTC, you get to on on outings Wednesdays and twice on Saturdays. If you want, you can also go to courage reins on Tuesday mornings- That's where you go and help physically disabled 2-3 year olds ride on horses!! It's SUCH an amazing experience.
When you get to phase 3 (On RTC), every other Monday you have the opportunity to go on the social outing- A bunch of you guys get to go shopping at the mall or wherever you guys want and get to go out to lunch together. It's so great!
There is also cooking class every Monday. It's pretty much genius.
The transitional is great- though I never had the opportunity to go through it. Some of the groups are w/ RTC girls, some aren't. It just all depends! They have a LOT more freedom and they are trusted. They also make their own meals more often, it's pretty helpful (So I hear!). I can't explain all that much about it though, as I never experienced that part.
When you are on Plated/100% you have to eat all of what you are GIVEN. You can't choose- though you can get extras if you wish. Then you get on Family Style, and you can serve yourself- but it has to be the first option. You can choose your sides and everything, but you still have to eat 100% of what you take. Then comes Advanced Family Style, where you can choose whatever you want- but still have to eat 100% of what you plate yourself.
After that comes intuitive- where you can get whatever you want, and eat until you feel satisfied. Of course they still record everything you eat, and your dietitian can take you off of intuitive if you aren't eating enough.
They do feeding tubes if you refuse boost twice. You can't really refuse the tube. They are very strict and make sure you get the best care you can and can actually recover. It's tough, but it works. If you are refusing medical treatment (the tube), they'll send you to the hospital or something. They can't be liable for you if you refuse medical treatment, ya know? Tough love- but you'll be grateful.
They deal with a lot of medical complications- after all, it's an EATING DISORDER clinic! Haha :)
What kind of medical complications do you mean? We had a girl with a brain tumor, I have epilepsy, a lot of girls have heart problems, I think one had diabetes.. And lactose-intolerance... There's prob. ore- so what kind of complications do you mean, if I may ask?
The therapy doesn't revolve around food at all. You and your dietitian work on food stuff together.. You and your therapist actually work on the real problems. The Eating Disorder is but a symptom. They help you recover from the actual problem- helping majorly to dissolve the Eating Disorder in doing so.
It's tough- you have to do actual work. But everyone is SO amazing there! You'll feel like you're home after being there for only a short time. It's such a soft and comforting environment. It truly is a place for hope and healing.The staff there is amazing, so tremendously helpful. They truly do care about you as an individual- as YOU.
..Anything else? I'd be glad to help in any way!!
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?page=4&aid=-3&id=535104808#!/group.php?gid=266367132319&ref=ts
www.centerforchange.com
So I'm answering questions here.. Stay with me! Loves!
I'm not sure exactly how many beds are on the units.. Maybe16 On IP? 16-20 on RTC? That's just my guess though. I just got out Jan 21st, so I'm trying to remember the # of rooms by counting in my head.. lol :)
I believe they have 6-12 IOP/Day treatment patients at a time, though I could be wrong. We didn't really work with them, just exchanged pleasantries in passing.
They have a lot of outings there. You can't go on phase 1, but once you get to phase 2 (Which takes a minimum of two weeks to get to), you get to go on an outing on Fridays and Saturdays- as well as church on Sundays if you want to. There are like 6 churches you can go to- but only one a week. So like one week it'll be catholic, the next week Methodist.. Etc.
When you reach phase two, you also go on a lunch outing with your dietitian- which is always a highlight! You get to choose anywhere you want and don't have to pay. It's great :) lol
Once you get to RTC, you get to on on outings Wednesdays and twice on Saturdays. If you want, you can also go to courage reins on Tuesday mornings- That's where you go and help physically disabled 2-3 year olds ride on horses!! It's SUCH an amazing experience.
When you get to phase 3 (On RTC), every other Monday you have the opportunity to go on the social outing- A bunch of you guys get to go shopping at the mall or wherever you guys want and get to go out to lunch together. It's so great!
There is also cooking class every Monday. It's pretty much genius.
The transitional is great- though I never had the opportunity to go through it. Some of the groups are w/ RTC girls, some aren't. It just all depends! They have a LOT more freedom and they are trusted. They also make their own meals more often, it's pretty helpful (So I hear!). I can't explain all that much about it though, as I never experienced that part.
When you are on Plated/100% you have to eat all of what you are GIVEN. You can't choose- though you can get extras if you wish. Then you get on Family Style, and you can serve yourself- but it has to be the first option. You can choose your sides and everything, but you still have to eat 100% of what you take. Then comes Advanced Family Style, where you can choose whatever you want- but still have to eat 100% of what you plate yourself.
After that comes intuitive- where you can get whatever you want, and eat until you feel satisfied. Of course they still record everything you eat, and your dietitian can take you off of intuitive if you aren't eating enough.
They do feeding tubes if you refuse boost twice. You can't really refuse the tube. They are very strict and make sure you get the best care you can and can actually recover. It's tough, but it works. If you are refusing medical treatment (the tube), they'll send you to the hospital or something. They can't be liable for you if you refuse medical treatment, ya know? Tough love- but you'll be grateful.
They deal with a lot of medical complications- after all, it's an EATING DISORDER clinic! Haha :)
What kind of medical complications do you mean? We had a girl with a brain tumor, I have epilepsy, a lot of girls have heart problems, I think one had diabetes.. And lactose-intolerance... There's prob. ore- so what kind of complications do you mean, if I may ask?
The therapy doesn't revolve around food at all. You and your dietitian work on food stuff together.. You and your therapist actually work on the real problems. The Eating Disorder is but a symptom. They help you recover from the actual problem- helping majorly to dissolve the Eating Disorder in doing so.
It's tough- you have to do actual work. But everyone is SO amazing there! You'll feel like you're home after being there for only a short time. It's such a soft and comforting environment. It truly is a place for hope and healing.The staff there is amazing, so tremendously helpful. They truly do care about you as an individual- as YOU.
..Anything else? I'd be glad to help in any way!!
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?page=4&aid=-3&id=535104808#!/group.php?gid=266367132319&ref=ts
www.centerforchange.com
Thursday, February 4, 2010
The adventures of a girl in treatment
Guess who's finally back from CFC?
Yep- ME! Welcome home, Mary Lynn!!
So the Center was the most difficult experience of my life. I was pushed past my limits in almost every way imaginable- and broke down hysterically crying too many times to count.. I felt as if the world was going to end at points and was ready to throw in the towel. It was truly HELL at points.
The center was also the most wonderful & beneficial experience of my life. I have grown in so many ways- more than I thought imaginable! I feel like a brand new person. A healthy- and HAPPY Mary Lynn. The TRUE me. I have the world in front of me! I'm finally ready to truly LIVE!! Life is good to me. I'm ready for this.. BRING IT ON.
Yep- ME! Welcome home, Mary Lynn!!
So the Center was the most difficult experience of my life. I was pushed past my limits in almost every way imaginable- and broke down hysterically crying too many times to count.. I felt as if the world was going to end at points and was ready to throw in the towel. It was truly HELL at points.
The center was also the most wonderful & beneficial experience of my life. I have grown in so many ways- more than I thought imaginable! I feel like a brand new person. A healthy- and HAPPY Mary Lynn. The TRUE me. I have the world in front of me! I'm finally ready to truly LIVE!! Life is good to me. I'm ready for this.. BRING IT ON.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
The Center for Change!!!!! AH!!! :D
I'm headed into CFC ED treatment center TODAY!! It's about time, we've been trying to get me in there for THREE YEARS!! I'm so excited for this amazing opportunity!! To be honest, I'm also QUITE scared.. But if I believe I can do it, I can! And I know I can! I'll be there for a few months:) Snail mail is our friend, so if you wanna write me (And I know you DO!) ♥
"Center for Change-
Mary Lynn Bennett,
1790 North State Street,
Orem, Utah 84057"
http://www.centerforchange.com/
(Or just click the title of this post and it'll take you to the CFC website!)
"Center for Change-
Mary Lynn Bennett,
1790 North State Street,
Orem, Utah 84057"
http://www.centerforchange.com/
(Or just click the title of this post and it'll take you to the CFC website!)
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Center For Change
I've been slipping.
..Okay, so tumbling down the mountain is more like it.
I thought I was doing pretty well, but apparently I've lost a very significant amount of weight this week, so now I'm at a lower weight than I was when I first started seeing my dietitian. I'm not going to share what it is with you, because frankly, I don't know it. Nor do I wish to.
I've actually been eating pretty well the past few weeks, much better than I ever have. I think my body is freaking because it isn't used to food yet. Nine years of minimal food intake & purging'll do that to ya. MY bad.
And yes. I said purging'll. :D
Anyway- I HAVE been going downhill. Since I've been losing weight, I've noticed being more and more "spaced out". I'm loosing my attention span again and forgetting things more often. My body is using up more energy than it's apparently getting, and my brain functioning is a little down. I'm starting to feel more and more hopeless. I'm crashing. Prep the burn unit.
Granted, I'm still mentally in a much better place than I have been in the whole nine years of this eating disorder. I'm trying to stay here as long as I can, but this mountain is a bit too steep for me right now. I need someone's hand to help me up, give me a boost. (Not the drink- those are nasty!)
My Tx and I have decided upon inpatient/residential treatment. (For those of you out of the loop, Tx means Treatment team). Last Friday I had the amazing opportunity to go to a workshop at the Center for Change in Orem, UT. Jenni Schaefer was one of the speakers- she's my favorite! She's an author & singer/songwriter. She wrote my favorite book- "Life Without Ed"- which I've mentioned before. Go get it.
And she's an amazing singer. Her voice just fills your heart with hope!!
But I digress. While we were there, Alex and I chose to go on a tour of the place. We were able to see everything, it seems like a really great place. I talked to an amazing admissions coordinator, Janet, and we spoke about payment options. I'm still hoping we can get all that worked out, and my whole family is definitely in debt right now. CFC has a contract with the LDS church though, we're hoping to get me in through that.
It scares me to think about four and a half months away from my family, friends, and home. It scares me to think about having to eat there, and not being able to purge. It scares me that it's so strict and there are so many rules. I know it's going to be very hard- It's going to be hell sometimes. And joyous sometimes. And I especially know that it all depends on ME. A treatment center can't help me if I'm not willing to help MYSELF. I need to get my butt into gear and put in my all! And I will. Starting NOW.
It also excites me to have this great opportunity for treatment! It excites me that I can live a life without ED! It excites me to know all the things I will learn and be able to take into my life. It excites me that I'll finally be able to truly LIVE!!
It's all still up in the air. But if I get in, and hopefully I will, please visit me. It's scary to be there all by yourself. Granted, there will be a lot of other girls- but I want YOU GUYS. Or write me? Or call? (IDK if we have phone privileges..)
I love you guys. And I'm scared.
..Okay, so tumbling down the mountain is more like it.
I thought I was doing pretty well, but apparently I've lost a very significant amount of weight this week, so now I'm at a lower weight than I was when I first started seeing my dietitian. I'm not going to share what it is with you, because frankly, I don't know it. Nor do I wish to.
I've actually been eating pretty well the past few weeks, much better than I ever have. I think my body is freaking because it isn't used to food yet. Nine years of minimal food intake & purging'll do that to ya. MY bad.
And yes. I said purging'll. :D
Anyway- I HAVE been going downhill. Since I've been losing weight, I've noticed being more and more "spaced out". I'm loosing my attention span again and forgetting things more often. My body is using up more energy than it's apparently getting, and my brain functioning is a little down. I'm starting to feel more and more hopeless. I'm crashing. Prep the burn unit.
Granted, I'm still mentally in a much better place than I have been in the whole nine years of this eating disorder. I'm trying to stay here as long as I can, but this mountain is a bit too steep for me right now. I need someone's hand to help me up, give me a boost. (Not the drink- those are nasty!)
My Tx and I have decided upon inpatient/residential treatment. (For those of you out of the loop, Tx means Treatment team). Last Friday I had the amazing opportunity to go to a workshop at the Center for Change in Orem, UT. Jenni Schaefer was one of the speakers- she's my favorite! She's an author & singer/songwriter. She wrote my favorite book- "Life Without Ed"- which I've mentioned before. Go get it.
And she's an amazing singer. Her voice just fills your heart with hope!!
But I digress. While we were there, Alex and I chose to go on a tour of the place. We were able to see everything, it seems like a really great place. I talked to an amazing admissions coordinator, Janet, and we spoke about payment options. I'm still hoping we can get all that worked out, and my whole family is definitely in debt right now. CFC has a contract with the LDS church though, we're hoping to get me in through that.
It scares me to think about four and a half months away from my family, friends, and home. It scares me to think about having to eat there, and not being able to purge. It scares me that it's so strict and there are so many rules. I know it's going to be very hard- It's going to be hell sometimes. And joyous sometimes. And I especially know that it all depends on ME. A treatment center can't help me if I'm not willing to help MYSELF. I need to get my butt into gear and put in my all! And I will. Starting NOW.
It also excites me to have this great opportunity for treatment! It excites me that I can live a life without ED! It excites me to know all the things I will learn and be able to take into my life. It excites me that I'll finally be able to truly LIVE!!
It's all still up in the air. But if I get in, and hopefully I will, please visit me. It's scary to be there all by yourself. Granted, there will be a lot of other girls- but I want YOU GUYS. Or write me? Or call? (IDK if we have phone privileges..)
I love you guys. And I'm scared.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Happy & Proud!
I'm sorry I haven't written in a while, I just never felt the moment was right to write.
First off are my medical updates:
I've finally been diagnosed with Epilepsy. If it's not one thing, it's another. It DOES explain a LOT though!! I hate this though. I'm not allowed to take baths- If I have an epileptic episode, I'll quickly breath in the water and die. I HATE showers. I always take baths. I think it's a family thing- my big sis Leelou will only take baths, as well as my father. I've still been taking baths. I know it's very dangerous, and it scares me very much- but I just can't do showers- they freak me out.
Also, I'm not allowed to drive within three months of having an epileptic episode. What am I supposed to do without a car?!!? It's okay, I'll drive anyway.
However, it scares me to death every time I drive now. I'm in this panic state, it's awful even thinking about it.
I've recently had the great opportunity to start meeting with a great dietitian, Elena. She's been helping me SO much!! She even got me in to see a psychologist named Wendy. Both Elena and Wendy are Eating Disorder specialists. I'm also going to continue seeing my Social Worker, Miriam and my great doctor (who also specializes in EDs), Lesli. I finally have my support team in place!! Not to mention Alesia, my Psychiatrist. And my Alex! He is SO supportive and helpful! I finally feel like I can do this. I can conquer this time!! 18th time's a charm, right? ha
I've been doing so well in recovery, despite everything that's coming my way! I'm actually proud of myself. I've never liked myself enough to be proud. I can always do better, there's no reason to be proud of myself for being second rate.
I'm not second rate. I'm Mary Lynn. I'm whoever I wish to be. I'm not second rate.
And you know what? For the first time in a LONG time, I'm proud of myself.
I can do this.
First off are my medical updates:
I've finally been diagnosed with Epilepsy. If it's not one thing, it's another. It DOES explain a LOT though!! I hate this though. I'm not allowed to take baths- If I have an epileptic episode, I'll quickly breath in the water and die. I HATE showers. I always take baths. I think it's a family thing- my big sis Leelou will only take baths, as well as my father. I've still been taking baths. I know it's very dangerous, and it scares me very much- but I just can't do showers- they freak me out.
Also, I'm not allowed to drive within three months of having an epileptic episode. What am I supposed to do without a car?!!? It's okay, I'll drive anyway.
However, it scares me to death every time I drive now. I'm in this panic state, it's awful even thinking about it.
I've recently had the great opportunity to start meeting with a great dietitian, Elena. She's been helping me SO much!! She even got me in to see a psychologist named Wendy. Both Elena and Wendy are Eating Disorder specialists. I'm also going to continue seeing my Social Worker, Miriam and my great doctor (who also specializes in EDs), Lesli. I finally have my support team in place!! Not to mention Alesia, my Psychiatrist. And my Alex! He is SO supportive and helpful! I finally feel like I can do this. I can conquer this time!! 18th time's a charm, right? ha
I've been doing so well in recovery, despite everything that's coming my way! I'm actually proud of myself. I've never liked myself enough to be proud. I can always do better, there's no reason to be proud of myself for being second rate.
I'm not second rate. I'm Mary Lynn. I'm whoever I wish to be. I'm not second rate.
And you know what? For the first time in a LONG time, I'm proud of myself.
I can do this.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
You'd BETTER.. ;)
It's long overdue, but here's a video thin I put together of when Alex and I went to see the American Idol Live Tour! ..And you'd better watch it, I just took hours putting this together for you!! And you'll easily be able to tell- Danny Gokey is my FAVORITE!
(A few of the clips are from someone else's camera- for different views:D )
The video isn't working, so just click on the title of this post.
:D
We had a blast!!
(A few of the clips are from someone else's camera- for different views:D )
The video isn't working, so just click on the title of this post.
:D
We had a blast!!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Don't ask.. ;)
In a previous post I mentioned how I was very upset about my little pink card holder being stolen at a health fair where my JT girls performed. My mother had given it to me for my nineteenth birthday, and my initials were engraved on it. I loved it, and it was seemingly lost forever. Well a few weeks ago, I got a voice mail from the SouthTowne Mall Security, stating they had a small 'purse' belonging to a MaryLynn Bennett, and that they've had it for a few month- if it wasn't picked up within ten days, the contents would be destroyed. OMG!!! I'm so bemused. I forget EVERYTHING! I left it at a store, probably Wet Seal. Haha, I rock at this. Anyway, I've reconnected to my beautiful Card holder!! I'm so happy! Thar' she blows!:
In other news, my kitty Alecia is HILARIOUS! She always has to be the center of attention. If we are trying to get something done, she will undoubtedly sit right in the middle of what you're doing. Its hard to play board games, because she decides that right in the middle of the game is the optimal place to sit and begin licking her butt. Good kitty. I have a couple examples of it for you:
Faith Anne was doing homework, and needed the rest of it from the bin.. Alecia had other plans.
And here we have Elisabeth drawing a large picture.. Or attempting to, at least!
She's definitely a hilarious kitty!
My next random thought- Sometimes I miss my beautiful long hair.
...But I still love it short!!!
I'm going to be late for my therapy appointment, better jet!!
I all too conveniently have a picture of my therapist and me on the desktop, so here we are:
Later!
In other news, my kitty Alecia is HILARIOUS! She always has to be the center of attention. If we are trying to get something done, she will undoubtedly sit right in the middle of what you're doing. Its hard to play board games, because she decides that right in the middle of the game is the optimal place to sit and begin licking her butt. Good kitty. I have a couple examples of it for you:
Faith Anne was doing homework, and needed the rest of it from the bin.. Alecia had other plans.
And here we have Elisabeth drawing a large picture.. Or attempting to, at least!
She's definitely a hilarious kitty!
My next random thought- Sometimes I miss my beautiful long hair.
...But I still love it short!!!
I'm going to be late for my therapy appointment, better jet!!
I all too conveniently have a picture of my therapist and me on the desktop, so here we are:
Later!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Love!
It's raining outside. Do you ever just want to go outside in the rain... and just lay there on the sidewalk? I do. Especially in the night, when it's only me and the world. It's so calming, so serene. It just makes me want to smile and breath the whole world in. It makes me stop and think about beauty- every kind. ...Which, as always, reminds me of part of a song.. "When you see, see the beauty- all around and in yourself". That's what I do in the rain. I see beauty.
I love rain.
Now on to reality- I've been feeling overwhelmed a bit. I'm ready to stop being sick now, thanks! Can't I catch a single break here? I mean COME ON. What genius was put in charge of my health and messed up so badly?? Okay, so some of that may or may not be my fault (ED-related), but the REST of it...
So I sit at home, doing nothing. Being nothing. No job. No school. No anything. I suppose it's a good thing I haven't had a job the past few months, since I've been so sick and had so many doctors apts, I probably would've been fired by now. Still, I can't really feel like a good person if all I'm doing is sitting like a bump on a log, not contributing to our society. I want to do something now. I want to be someone.
I'm going for a great job right now though, hoping I have a chance of getting it. It's a phlebotomy job, and on the same week as Alex. I hope I get it so badly! I love drawing blood, I really want to do this. Also, I'm trying to get in the nursing program at SLCC! I've always wanted to be a nurse- I'd like to do pediatric oncology or be a psychiatric nurse. Eventually :)
In other news, I've been doing fairly well in this whole recovery thing. It's really amazing what a difference a dietitian can make! Seriously, she's so great :)
I'm being a good kid and following our meal plan :) It gives me so much energy!!
I think a lot of the reason I'm doing so much better is my Alex. He's such an amazing support for me. He even comes to my apts with Elena (my dietitian) to help me out. He really is a great guy, I'm lucky to have him :)
We're a great match. I think we're going on five months, but you'd have to ask him. He's programmed it into his phone. CUTE, huh? Yep.
Last weekend I had a great time at Bear Lake. We (and by we, I mean Gary) have a cabin up in Bear Lake West. It's a huge one, three floors! It's placed perfectly on the mountain for an amazing view of the lake. Not too far from it, either. I was able to go up with my family- My big sis, her boyfriend/my step brother (Long story.. INCEST!! I swear I'm not related. It's disgusting),my younger bro (I have to say younger, because he's definitely taller than I!), my 'younger' sis (Again.. Taller than I at only 14!), my (other) little sis, my freaking DAD (Who was here for a few days from Boston! Yeah!), My mother, Her BF Gary, My Best friend Ashley, And my boyfriend Alex. What a great part-ay!! It was so much fun- especially at the beach!! And it was a 4 hour road trip to (and from!) the cabin with just Alex, Ashley & me! Fun stuff :)
Here are a few pictures of our great adventures!
There are a good few, so bear with me!
On our way to the beach!
*Click for the full picture.. It cuts off!*
Another taken on the way to the beach :)
We're in Idaho and Utah at the same time!! If we break the Idaho beach rules.. We'll just run back to Utah!!
*Click for the full picture.. It cuts off!*
My lover boy and me. lol ;)
Leelou said to sexy it up. So we did ;)
And there they are, hanging at the beach
*Click for the full picture.. It cuts off!*
Venturing into the unknown..
*Click for the full picture.. It cuts off!*
It was cold! You can't make me get out! Alex was brave enough to.
*Click for the full picture.. It cuts off!*
Even mother got in for a bit :)
It wasn't the best sand in the world, but we managed..
My gorgeous younger sister.
My best friend, Ashley.
I think I did well. For clarification, those are shells covering!!
*Click for the full picture.. It cuts off!*
"The couple from the black lagoon!"
His beard is in good form here.
*Click for the full picture.. It cuts off!*
My mother and eldest sister :)
My mamma is so beautiful!
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My dad & siblings at the cabin
Our castle kingdom.
My model sis.
My dad and my mothers boyfriend :)
& Last, but not least- The family on a hike. I was feeling sick the whole weekend, so Alex stayed behind with me. Ashie took the picture :)
That's all, folks!! Leave comments, they make me happy ;)
hehe:)
I love rain.
Now on to reality- I've been feeling overwhelmed a bit. I'm ready to stop being sick now, thanks! Can't I catch a single break here? I mean COME ON. What genius was put in charge of my health and messed up so badly?? Okay, so some of that may or may not be my fault (ED-related), but the REST of it...
So I sit at home, doing nothing. Being nothing. No job. No school. No anything. I suppose it's a good thing I haven't had a job the past few months, since I've been so sick and had so many doctors apts, I probably would've been fired by now. Still, I can't really feel like a good person if all I'm doing is sitting like a bump on a log, not contributing to our society. I want to do something now. I want to be someone.
I'm going for a great job right now though, hoping I have a chance of getting it. It's a phlebotomy job, and on the same week as Alex. I hope I get it so badly! I love drawing blood, I really want to do this. Also, I'm trying to get in the nursing program at SLCC! I've always wanted to be a nurse- I'd like to do pediatric oncology or be a psychiatric nurse. Eventually :)
In other news, I've been doing fairly well in this whole recovery thing. It's really amazing what a difference a dietitian can make! Seriously, she's so great :)
I'm being a good kid and following our meal plan :) It gives me so much energy!!
I think a lot of the reason I'm doing so much better is my Alex. He's such an amazing support for me. He even comes to my apts with Elena (my dietitian) to help me out. He really is a great guy, I'm lucky to have him :)
We're a great match. I think we're going on five months, but you'd have to ask him. He's programmed it into his phone. CUTE, huh? Yep.
Last weekend I had a great time at Bear Lake. We (and by we, I mean Gary) have a cabin up in Bear Lake West. It's a huge one, three floors! It's placed perfectly on the mountain for an amazing view of the lake. Not too far from it, either. I was able to go up with my family- My big sis, her boyfriend/my step brother (Long story.. INCEST!! I swear I'm not related. It's disgusting),my younger bro (I have to say younger, because he's definitely taller than I!), my 'younger' sis (Again.. Taller than I at only 14!), my (other) little sis, my freaking DAD (Who was here for a few days from Boston! Yeah!), My mother, Her BF Gary, My Best friend Ashley, And my boyfriend Alex. What a great part-ay!! It was so much fun- especially at the beach!! And it was a 4 hour road trip to (and from!) the cabin with just Alex, Ashley & me! Fun stuff :)
Here are a few pictures of our great adventures!
There are a good few, so bear with me!
On our way to the beach!
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Another taken on the way to the beach :)
We're in Idaho and Utah at the same time!! If we break the Idaho beach rules.. We'll just run back to Utah!!
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My lover boy and me. lol ;)
Leelou said to sexy it up. So we did ;)
And there they are, hanging at the beach
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Venturing into the unknown..
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It was cold! You can't make me get out! Alex was brave enough to.
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Even mother got in for a bit :)
It wasn't the best sand in the world, but we managed..
My gorgeous younger sister.
My best friend, Ashley.
I think I did well. For clarification, those are shells covering!!
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"The couple from the black lagoon!"
His beard is in good form here.
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My mother and eldest sister :)
My mamma is so beautiful!
*Click for the full picture.. It cuts off!*
My dad & siblings at the cabin
Our castle kingdom.
My model sis.
My dad and my mothers boyfriend :)
& Last, but not least- The family on a hike. I was feeling sick the whole weekend, so Alex stayed behind with me. Ashie took the picture :)
That's all, folks!! Leave comments, they make me happy ;)
hehe:)
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