Thursday, September 13, 2007

"Life makes you Bolder, Children get older.. I'm getting older, too.."

Today is my friend, Jessica,'s birthday.
She is eighteen!
And she is the first of my close friends to turn eighteen. (The rest of us all have our birthdays within the next 2-3 months, now- all in a row) (lol)
Anyway.. It kind of makes me stop and think
Time really flies by so quickly
I mean.. It's my senor year in HS. As soon as this year is over, I'm done. Like, FINISHED. Thrown into the world.
That is SO scary
And I'm going to be eighteen in two months. Can you believe that? EIGHTEEN.
Like, as in, an adult. OFFICIALLY. Like, as in, no longer a young woman. I mean, I can still attend YW's, 'till the end of the school year- but I'm not going to actually BE a YW. THAT is SCARY.
Also, no Medical insurance, once I turn 18. My insurance is for children, only. THAT is NOT going to be good!
Gosh, I just feel like I'm growing up too fast! It is FREAKING me OUT!
And once I graduate, all my friends.. what will happen to them? What will happen to US? How do I know I'll ever see them again? How can I be sure we'll remember to keep in touch?
And all the guys will be leaving on missions. What then? No guys, for two years?
And what about college? I have no money, for that! I'm not especially good at anything, or at least, not good enough for scholarship.. so what in the world am I supposed to do?
And I have to move out. What? Move out? WHERE to? NO clue! How frightening!
And how am I supposed to pay for any medical bills? I can't!
We only have so long to live, and it's slipping away, like sand through our fingers..
I feel like I just want to go back to being a little kid, again. No worries.. Not a care, in the world.
WHEN did I grow up? When did I cross the line from being a child?
WHEN did THIS happen? I never agreed to ANY of it!
Give me my childhood back! I'm not ready to grow up, yet.
I feel like I'm a child from Peter Pan "I'll NEVER grow up!"
And yet, I must.

... but why does it have to be so soon?

What ever happened to my two- weeks notice?