So my coordinator at work, Estephanie, got an email from the district office a few days ago.. Apparently they want me to start a jump team at Jackson Elem! Exciting, right?
It'll be hard starting w/ new kids (they don't have experience, so they can't help others), but It can be done!
It sounds like we're going to be able to have auditions for it (thank goodness!), but only kids currently in the after-school program can try out. Not sure how I feel about that vs what I'm used to.
At Magna Elem, all 3-6 graders could try out, so we could really pick and choose the best ones- and there were older, more experienced kids, who could help out the newer ones. I'm kind of nervous about this whole thing, I feel like they may have these huge expectations of me.. What if I can't live up to those? What if there aren't enough kids in there with rhythm and potential talent? What if we don't find good speed ropes and can't do it? What if, for some reason, the whole thing fails miserably?
Geez, I can get myself so worked up over these things! I've done JT for five years. I've been missing it a lot. I LOVE coaching JT. Why am I so nervous, then??
Probably because it's different. Though I've done it before, it's new. It's change.
I've found a pattern in myself, which I've been telling myself I want to change. I tend to shy away from almost anything and everything involving change (Probably the reason I haven't worked on this pattern; that would involve changing!).
Why? Who in the heck knows.
Mary Lynn, you're a big kid. You can do this. You can deal with change. You've made a lot of changes in the past year, and you've managed to survive. No need to panic, ML. No need to freak out. It will be okay.
It will be okay.
It will be okay. CHILL.
There are so many things I wish I could say to the world, yet I know most of my words will be left unspoken.
I wish the world could be the peaceful & loving bliss I so clearly see in my mind- And I hope to someday help it become that.
I'm finally becoming okay with the fact that all I can be is me- and there's nothing wrong with that!
I'm sometimes afraid of getting older, & dealing with the things an adult "must" deal with.
I simultaneously crave both fitting in standing out. I love being different- And being different is what makes us unique.
I am in control of my own life. I can feel only what I CHOOSE to feel, I can love or hate, I can smile or cry. I can do whatever I want to do, be whomever I wish to be..
I choose to be ME.