I'm headed into CFC ED treatment center TODAY!! It's about time, we've been trying to get me in there for THREE YEARS!! I'm so excited for this amazing opportunity!! To be honest, I'm also QUITE scared.. But if I believe I can do it, I can! And I know I can! I'll be there for a few months:) Snail mail is our friend, so if you wanna write me (And I know you DO!) ♥
"Center for Change-
Mary Lynn Bennett,
1790 North State Street,
Orem, Utah 84057"
http://www.centerforchange.com/
(Or just click the title of this post and it'll take you to the CFC website!)
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Center For Change
I've been slipping.
..Okay, so tumbling down the mountain is more like it.
I thought I was doing pretty well, but apparently I've lost a very significant amount of weight this week, so now I'm at a lower weight than I was when I first started seeing my dietitian. I'm not going to share what it is with you, because frankly, I don't know it. Nor do I wish to.
I've actually been eating pretty well the past few weeks, much better than I ever have. I think my body is freaking because it isn't used to food yet. Nine years of minimal food intake & purging'll do that to ya. MY bad.
And yes. I said purging'll. :D
Anyway- I HAVE been going downhill. Since I've been losing weight, I've noticed being more and more "spaced out". I'm loosing my attention span again and forgetting things more often. My body is using up more energy than it's apparently getting, and my brain functioning is a little down. I'm starting to feel more and more hopeless. I'm crashing. Prep the burn unit.
Granted, I'm still mentally in a much better place than I have been in the whole nine years of this eating disorder. I'm trying to stay here as long as I can, but this mountain is a bit too steep for me right now. I need someone's hand to help me up, give me a boost. (Not the drink- those are nasty!)
My Tx and I have decided upon inpatient/residential treatment. (For those of you out of the loop, Tx means Treatment team). Last Friday I had the amazing opportunity to go to a workshop at the Center for Change in Orem, UT. Jenni Schaefer was one of the speakers- she's my favorite! She's an author & singer/songwriter. She wrote my favorite book- "Life Without Ed"- which I've mentioned before. Go get it.
And she's an amazing singer. Her voice just fills your heart with hope!!
But I digress. While we were there, Alex and I chose to go on a tour of the place. We were able to see everything, it seems like a really great place. I talked to an amazing admissions coordinator, Janet, and we spoke about payment options. I'm still hoping we can get all that worked out, and my whole family is definitely in debt right now. CFC has a contract with the LDS church though, we're hoping to get me in through that.
It scares me to think about four and a half months away from my family, friends, and home. It scares me to think about having to eat there, and not being able to purge. It scares me that it's so strict and there are so many rules. I know it's going to be very hard- It's going to be hell sometimes. And joyous sometimes. And I especially know that it all depends on ME. A treatment center can't help me if I'm not willing to help MYSELF. I need to get my butt into gear and put in my all! And I will. Starting NOW.
It also excites me to have this great opportunity for treatment! It excites me that I can live a life without ED! It excites me to know all the things I will learn and be able to take into my life. It excites me that I'll finally be able to truly LIVE!!
It's all still up in the air. But if I get in, and hopefully I will, please visit me. It's scary to be there all by yourself. Granted, there will be a lot of other girls- but I want YOU GUYS. Or write me? Or call? (IDK if we have phone privileges..)
I love you guys. And I'm scared.
..Okay, so tumbling down the mountain is more like it.
I thought I was doing pretty well, but apparently I've lost a very significant amount of weight this week, so now I'm at a lower weight than I was when I first started seeing my dietitian. I'm not going to share what it is with you, because frankly, I don't know it. Nor do I wish to.
I've actually been eating pretty well the past few weeks, much better than I ever have. I think my body is freaking because it isn't used to food yet. Nine years of minimal food intake & purging'll do that to ya. MY bad.
And yes. I said purging'll. :D
Anyway- I HAVE been going downhill. Since I've been losing weight, I've noticed being more and more "spaced out". I'm loosing my attention span again and forgetting things more often. My body is using up more energy than it's apparently getting, and my brain functioning is a little down. I'm starting to feel more and more hopeless. I'm crashing. Prep the burn unit.
Granted, I'm still mentally in a much better place than I have been in the whole nine years of this eating disorder. I'm trying to stay here as long as I can, but this mountain is a bit too steep for me right now. I need someone's hand to help me up, give me a boost. (Not the drink- those are nasty!)
My Tx and I have decided upon inpatient/residential treatment. (For those of you out of the loop, Tx means Treatment team). Last Friday I had the amazing opportunity to go to a workshop at the Center for Change in Orem, UT. Jenni Schaefer was one of the speakers- she's my favorite! She's an author & singer/songwriter. She wrote my favorite book- "Life Without Ed"- which I've mentioned before. Go get it.
And she's an amazing singer. Her voice just fills your heart with hope!!
But I digress. While we were there, Alex and I chose to go on a tour of the place. We were able to see everything, it seems like a really great place. I talked to an amazing admissions coordinator, Janet, and we spoke about payment options. I'm still hoping we can get all that worked out, and my whole family is definitely in debt right now. CFC has a contract with the LDS church though, we're hoping to get me in through that.
It scares me to think about four and a half months away from my family, friends, and home. It scares me to think about having to eat there, and not being able to purge. It scares me that it's so strict and there are so many rules. I know it's going to be very hard- It's going to be hell sometimes. And joyous sometimes. And I especially know that it all depends on ME. A treatment center can't help me if I'm not willing to help MYSELF. I need to get my butt into gear and put in my all! And I will. Starting NOW.
It also excites me to have this great opportunity for treatment! It excites me that I can live a life without ED! It excites me to know all the things I will learn and be able to take into my life. It excites me that I'll finally be able to truly LIVE!!
It's all still up in the air. But if I get in, and hopefully I will, please visit me. It's scary to be there all by yourself. Granted, there will be a lot of other girls- but I want YOU GUYS. Or write me? Or call? (IDK if we have phone privileges..)
I love you guys. And I'm scared.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Happy & Proud!
I'm sorry I haven't written in a while, I just never felt the moment was right to write.
First off are my medical updates:
My brain tumor isn't pressing on anything. It isn't growing. It's small. It's shaped smoothly. It doesn't seem to be causing any problems. This means I don't have to have an unnecessary brain surgery or radiation (for now)!! I have to continue going to my neurologist every once in a while to make sure nothing is changing, but for now I'm HOME FREE!! Such great news- it's such a huge relief!
However, Something else was discovered in that process...
I have Epilepsy. Darn, if it's not one thing, it's another. It DOES explain a LOT though!! I hate this epilepsy thing. I'm not allowed to take baths- If I have an epileptic episode, I'll quickly breath in the water and die. I HATE showers. I always take baths. I think it's a family thing- my big sis Leelou will only take baths, as well as my father. I've still been taking baths. I know it's very dangerous, and it scares me very much- but I just can't do showers- they freak me out.
Also, I'm not allowed to drive within three months of having an epileptic episode. What am I supposed to do without a car?!!? It's okay, I'll drive anyway.
However, it scares me to death every time I drive now. I'm in this panic state, it's awful even thinking about it.
I've recently had the great opportunity to start meeting with a great dietitian, Elena. She's been helping me SO much!! She even got me in to see a psychologist named Wendy. Both Elena and Wendy are Eating Disorder specialists. I'm also going to continue seeing my Social Worker, Miriam and my great doctor (who also specializes in EDs), Lesli. I finally have my support team in place!! Not to mention Alesia, my Psychiatrist. And my Alex! He is SO supportive and helpful! I finally feel like I can do this. I can conquer this time!! 18th time's a charm, right? ha
I've been doing so well in recovery, despite everything that's coming my way! I'm actually proud of myself. I've never liked myself enough to be proud. I can always do better, there's no reason to be proud of myself for being second rate.
I'm not second rate. I'm Mary Lynn. I'm whoever I wish to be. I'm not second rate.
And you know what? For the first time in a LONG time, I'm proud of myself.
I can do this.
First off are my medical updates:
My brain tumor isn't pressing on anything. It isn't growing. It's small. It's shaped smoothly. It doesn't seem to be causing any problems. This means I don't have to have an unnecessary brain surgery or radiation (for now)!! I have to continue going to my neurologist every once in a while to make sure nothing is changing, but for now I'm HOME FREE!! Such great news- it's such a huge relief!
However, Something else was discovered in that process...
I have Epilepsy. Darn, if it's not one thing, it's another. It DOES explain a LOT though!! I hate this epilepsy thing. I'm not allowed to take baths- If I have an epileptic episode, I'll quickly breath in the water and die. I HATE showers. I always take baths. I think it's a family thing- my big sis Leelou will only take baths, as well as my father. I've still been taking baths. I know it's very dangerous, and it scares me very much- but I just can't do showers- they freak me out.
Also, I'm not allowed to drive within three months of having an epileptic episode. What am I supposed to do without a car?!!? It's okay, I'll drive anyway.
However, it scares me to death every time I drive now. I'm in this panic state, it's awful even thinking about it.
I've recently had the great opportunity to start meeting with a great dietitian, Elena. She's been helping me SO much!! She even got me in to see a psychologist named Wendy. Both Elena and Wendy are Eating Disorder specialists. I'm also going to continue seeing my Social Worker, Miriam and my great doctor (who also specializes in EDs), Lesli. I finally have my support team in place!! Not to mention Alesia, my Psychiatrist. And my Alex! He is SO supportive and helpful! I finally feel like I can do this. I can conquer this time!! 18th time's a charm, right? ha
I've been doing so well in recovery, despite everything that's coming my way! I'm actually proud of myself. I've never liked myself enough to be proud. I can always do better, there's no reason to be proud of myself for being second rate.
I'm not second rate. I'm Mary Lynn. I'm whoever I wish to be. I'm not second rate.
And you know what? For the first time in a LONG time, I'm proud of myself.
I can do this.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
You'd BETTER.. ;)
It's long overdue, but here's a video thin I put together of when Alex and I went to see the American Idol Live Tour! ..And you'd better watch it, I just took hours putting this together for you!! And you'll easily be able to tell- Danny Gokey is my FAVORITE!
(A few of the clips are from someone else's camera- for different views:D )
The video isn't working, so just click on the title of this post.
:D
We had a blast!!
(A few of the clips are from someone else's camera- for different views:D )
The video isn't working, so just click on the title of this post.
:D
We had a blast!!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Don't ask.. ;)
In a previous post I mentioned how I was very upset about my little pink card holder being stolen at a health fair where my JT girls performed. My mother had given it to me for my nineteenth birthday, and my initials were engraved on it. I loved it, and it was seemingly lost forever. Well a few weeks ago, I got a voice mail from the SouthTowne Mall Security, stating they had a small 'purse' belonging to a MaryLynn Bennett, and that they've had it for a few month- if it wasn't picked up within ten days, the contents would be destroyed. OMG!!! I'm so bemused. I forget EVERYTHING! I left it at a store, probably Wet Seal. Haha, I rock at this. Anyway, I've reconnected to my beautiful Card holder!! I'm so happy! Thar' she blows!:
In other news, my kitty Alecia is HILARIOUS! She always has to be the center of attention. If we are trying to get something done, she will undoubtedly sit right in the middle of what you're doing. Its hard to play board games, because she decides that right in the middle of the game is the optimal place to sit and begin licking her butt. Good kitty. I have a couple examples of it for you:
Faith Anne was doing homework, and needed the rest of it from the bin.. Alecia had other plans.
And here we have Elisabeth drawing a large picture.. Or attempting to, at least!
She's definitely a hilarious kitty!
My next random thought- Sometimes I miss my beautiful long hair.
...But I still love it short!!!
I'm going to be late for my therapy appointment, better jet!!
I all too conveniently have a picture of my therapist and me on the desktop, so here we are:
Later!
In other news, my kitty Alecia is HILARIOUS! She always has to be the center of attention. If we are trying to get something done, she will undoubtedly sit right in the middle of what you're doing. Its hard to play board games, because she decides that right in the middle of the game is the optimal place to sit and begin licking her butt. Good kitty. I have a couple examples of it for you:
Faith Anne was doing homework, and needed the rest of it from the bin.. Alecia had other plans.
And here we have Elisabeth drawing a large picture.. Or attempting to, at least!
She's definitely a hilarious kitty!
My next random thought- Sometimes I miss my beautiful long hair.
...But I still love it short!!!
I'm going to be late for my therapy appointment, better jet!!
I all too conveniently have a picture of my therapist and me on the desktop, so here we are:
Later!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Love!
It's raining outside. Do you ever just want to go outside in the rain... and just lay there on the sidewalk? I do. Especially in the night, when it's only me and the world. It's so calming, so serene. It just makes me want to smile and breath the whole world in. It makes me stop and think about beauty- every kind. ...Which, as always, reminds me of part of a song.. "When you see, see the beauty- all around and in yourself". That's what I do in the rain. I see beauty.
I love rain.
Now on to reality- I've been feeling overwhelmed a bit. I'm ready to stop being sick now, thanks! No more brain tumors, no more heart arrhythmias, no more endocrinology quirks, no more compromised immune system, no more freaking random hepatitis ('A'- the food born one- for clarification!)!! Can't I catch a single break here? I mean COME ON. What genius was put in charge of my health and messed up so badly?? Okay, so some of that may or may not be my fault, but the REST of it... lol
So I sit at home, doing nothing. Being nothing. No job. No school. No anything. I suppose it's a good thing I haven't had a job the past few months, since I've been so sick and had so many doctors apts, I probably would've been fired by now. Still, I can't really feel like a good person if all I'm doing is sitting like a bump on a log, not contributing to our society. I want to do something now. I want to be someone.
I'm going for a great job right now though, hoping I have a chance of getting it. It's a phlebotomy job, and on the same week as Alex. I hope I get it so badly! I love drawing blood, I really want to do this. Also, I'm trying to get in the nursing program at SLCC! I've always wanted to be a nurse- I'd like to do pediatric oncology or be a psychiatric nurse. Eventually :)
In other news, I've been doing fairly well in this whole recovery thing. It's really amazing what a difference a dietitian can make! Seriously, she's so great :)
I'm being a good kid and following our meal plan :) It gives me so much energy!!
I think a lot of the reason I'm doing so much better is my Alex. He's such an amazing support for me. He even comes to my apts with Elena (my dietitian) to help me out. He really is a great guy, I'm lucky to have him :)
We're a great match. I think we're going on five months, but you'd have to ask him. He's programmed it into his phone. CUTE, huh? Yep.
Last weekend I had a great time at Bear Lake. We (and by we, I mean Gary) have a cabin up in Bear Lake West. It's a huge one, three floors! It's placed perfectly on the mountain for an amazing view of the lake. Not too far from it, either. I was able to go up with my family- My big sis, her boyfriend/my step brother (Long story.. INCEST!! I swear I'm not related. It's disgusting),my younger bro (I have to say younger, because he's definitely taller than I!), my 'younger' sis (Again.. Taller than I at only 14!), my (other) little sis, my freaking DAD (Who was here for a few days from Boston! Yeah!), My mother, Her BF Gary, My Best friend Ashley, And my boyfriend Alex. What a great part-ay!! It was so much fun- especially at the beach!! And it was a 4 hour road trip to (and from!) the cabin with just Alex, Ashley & me! Fun stuff :)
Here are a few pictures of our great adventures!
There are a good few, so bear with me!
On our way to the beach!
*Click for the full picture.. It cuts off!*
Another taken on the way to the beach :)
We're in Idaho and Utah at the same time!! If we break the Idaho beach rules.. We'll just run back to Utah!!
*Click for the full picture.. It cuts off!*
My lover boy and me. lol ;)
Leelou said to sexy it up. So we did ;)
And there they are, hanging at the beach
*Click for the full picture.. It cuts off!*
Venturing into the unknown..
*Click for the full picture.. It cuts off!*
It was cold! You can't make me get out! Alex was brave enough to.
*Click for the full picture.. It cuts off!*
Even mother got in for a bit :)
It wasn't the best sand in the world, but we managed..
My gorgeous younger sister.
My best friend, Ashley.
I think I did well. For clarification, those are shells covering!!
*Click for the full picture.. It cuts off!*
"The couple from the black lagoon!"
His beard is in good form here.
*Click for the full picture.. It cuts off!*
My mother and eldest sister :)
My mamma is so beautiful!
*Click for the full picture.. It cuts off!*
My dad & siblings at the cabin
Our castle kingdom.
My model sis.
My dad and my mothers boyfriend :)
& Last, but not least- The family on a hike. I was feeling sick the whole weekend, so Alex stayed behind with me. Ashie took the picture :)
That's all, folks!! Leave comments, they make me happy ;)
hehe:)
I love rain.
Now on to reality- I've been feeling overwhelmed a bit. I'm ready to stop being sick now, thanks! No more brain tumors, no more heart arrhythmias, no more endocrinology quirks, no more compromised immune system, no more freaking random hepatitis ('A'- the food born one- for clarification!)!! Can't I catch a single break here? I mean COME ON. What genius was put in charge of my health and messed up so badly?? Okay, so some of that may or may not be my fault, but the REST of it... lol
So I sit at home, doing nothing. Being nothing. No job. No school. No anything. I suppose it's a good thing I haven't had a job the past few months, since I've been so sick and had so many doctors apts, I probably would've been fired by now. Still, I can't really feel like a good person if all I'm doing is sitting like a bump on a log, not contributing to our society. I want to do something now. I want to be someone.
I'm going for a great job right now though, hoping I have a chance of getting it. It's a phlebotomy job, and on the same week as Alex. I hope I get it so badly! I love drawing blood, I really want to do this. Also, I'm trying to get in the nursing program at SLCC! I've always wanted to be a nurse- I'd like to do pediatric oncology or be a psychiatric nurse. Eventually :)
In other news, I've been doing fairly well in this whole recovery thing. It's really amazing what a difference a dietitian can make! Seriously, she's so great :)
I'm being a good kid and following our meal plan :) It gives me so much energy!!
I think a lot of the reason I'm doing so much better is my Alex. He's such an amazing support for me. He even comes to my apts with Elena (my dietitian) to help me out. He really is a great guy, I'm lucky to have him :)
We're a great match. I think we're going on five months, but you'd have to ask him. He's programmed it into his phone. CUTE, huh? Yep.
Last weekend I had a great time at Bear Lake. We (and by we, I mean Gary) have a cabin up in Bear Lake West. It's a huge one, three floors! It's placed perfectly on the mountain for an amazing view of the lake. Not too far from it, either. I was able to go up with my family- My big sis, her boyfriend/my step brother (Long story.. INCEST!! I swear I'm not related. It's disgusting),my younger bro (I have to say younger, because he's definitely taller than I!), my 'younger' sis (Again.. Taller than I at only 14!), my (other) little sis, my freaking DAD (Who was here for a few days from Boston! Yeah!), My mother, Her BF Gary, My Best friend Ashley, And my boyfriend Alex. What a great part-ay!! It was so much fun- especially at the beach!! And it was a 4 hour road trip to (and from!) the cabin with just Alex, Ashley & me! Fun stuff :)
Here are a few pictures of our great adventures!
There are a good few, so bear with me!
On our way to the beach!
*Click for the full picture.. It cuts off!*
Another taken on the way to the beach :)
We're in Idaho and Utah at the same time!! If we break the Idaho beach rules.. We'll just run back to Utah!!
*Click for the full picture.. It cuts off!*
My lover boy and me. lol ;)
Leelou said to sexy it up. So we did ;)
And there they are, hanging at the beach
*Click for the full picture.. It cuts off!*
Venturing into the unknown..
*Click for the full picture.. It cuts off!*
It was cold! You can't make me get out! Alex was brave enough to.
*Click for the full picture.. It cuts off!*
Even mother got in for a bit :)
It wasn't the best sand in the world, but we managed..
My gorgeous younger sister.
My best friend, Ashley.
I think I did well. For clarification, those are shells covering!!
*Click for the full picture.. It cuts off!*
"The couple from the black lagoon!"
His beard is in good form here.
*Click for the full picture.. It cuts off!*
My mother and eldest sister :)
My mamma is so beautiful!
*Click for the full picture.. It cuts off!*
My dad & siblings at the cabin
Our castle kingdom.
My model sis.
My dad and my mothers boyfriend :)
& Last, but not least- The family on a hike. I was feeling sick the whole weekend, so Alex stayed behind with me. Ashie took the picture :)
That's all, folks!! Leave comments, they make me happy ;)
hehe:)
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Thank the heavens for health insurance...
I went to see my MD today. I originally made an apt for July 9th- the soonest she had available. Then yesterday I got a call from her office- She wanted to see me the very next day. So I set up an apt for the next day- this morning.
Now usually I have to wait forever to be called back from the waiting room (Seriously- it was over an hour last time!). Not this time though! Within five minutes my name was called. (& yes, I felt like a little school girl being chosen from the class:). Anyway, we started with the usual- Temperature, vitals, getting in a gown to check my weight (I know- how dare they not trust me to not mischievously hide heavy things in my pockets & bra or put sand in my shoes so I appear to have gained weight? I've only done that like three times..). :P
Anyway, after all of that shenanigans I usually have to wait another 20-30 minutes before Dr. Cooper finally graces me with her presence. Not this time! Oh boy, do I feel important. She came right in after I was dressed again. I know she has the results from my long & tedious 'MRI w/contrast' scan, so I figure she just wants to give me the results and get me outta there.. However, when she entered the room she looked overly concerned- making me even more suspicious that she had actually turned into a quick-moving alien-lizard-shape-shifter, who only wanted to see me so quickly so she could devour me. Wait.. Wrong story. Oh yes- I mean making me even more suspicious that something was seriously up. I soon realized something WAS indeed up. The doctor gave me some slightly less-than-ideal news:
I have a brain tumor. A mass in my brain.
I have to go in to the neurosurgery center at the U hospital to try to figure out if it's benign or malignant, if it's growing at all, and if it's causing pressure on my brain. I hope not, 'cause I like to think that I use that more times than not. Okay, maybe not THAT much, but I do use it once in a while! :P
Anyway.. My blood work came back less-than-ideal as well. There's like some chemical thing that's dangerously high, and I have to see another specialist for that. Also, they're concerned about the seizure activity in my brain (I know, again with this darn brain!), so I have to have even MORE tests for that. So I'm get to be put through test after grueling test for the next few months. I'm so excited!! Or not. I'm pretty sure I have the right to say THIS. SUCKS. I'm pretending to not be a little frightened about this, and I'd like to think I'm doing a good job at it. But what do I know, my brain is on the fritz.
In conclusion, I'd like to thank the following for making this all possible:
God, for giving me a seizure/blackout causing a car accident w/head injury, making them initially scan my brain. Also, for my Eating Disorder (As much as I hate it), for making me be already seeing a great doctor regularly who wanted to look further into my brain to make sure everything was alright, and who ordered a brain MRI with contrast, revealing the little bugger hiding in there- and for stealing my precious blood, only to find out it's damaged goods. & last (but certainly not least!), for BJ, who gave me a blessing right before the accident, setting all of this in motion. BJ is truly amazing- Thanks BJ.
The only thing I have to say is..
Thank God for health insurance.
Oh yeah, and a friend of mine sent me this song. I absolutely love it, and wanted to share it with you. (& turn the blog music off at the bottom of the page!)
Love you.
Now usually I have to wait forever to be called back from the waiting room (Seriously- it was over an hour last time!). Not this time though! Within five minutes my name was called. (& yes, I felt like a little school girl being chosen from the class:). Anyway, we started with the usual- Temperature, vitals, getting in a gown to check my weight (I know- how dare they not trust me to not mischievously hide heavy things in my pockets & bra or put sand in my shoes so I appear to have gained weight? I've only done that like three times..). :P
Anyway, after all of that shenanigans I usually have to wait another 20-30 minutes before Dr. Cooper finally graces me with her presence. Not this time! Oh boy, do I feel important. She came right in after I was dressed again. I know she has the results from my long & tedious 'MRI w/contrast' scan, so I figure she just wants to give me the results and get me outta there.. However, when she entered the room she looked overly concerned- making me even more suspicious that she had actually turned into a quick-moving alien-lizard-shape-shifter, who only wanted to see me so quickly so she could devour me. Wait.. Wrong story. Oh yes- I mean making me even more suspicious that something was seriously up. I soon realized something WAS indeed up. The doctor gave me some slightly less-than-ideal news:
I have a brain tumor. A mass in my brain.
I have to go in to the neurosurgery center at the U hospital to try to figure out if it's benign or malignant, if it's growing at all, and if it's causing pressure on my brain. I hope not, 'cause I like to think that I use that more times than not. Okay, maybe not THAT much, but I do use it once in a while! :P
Anyway.. My blood work came back less-than-ideal as well. There's like some chemical thing that's dangerously high, and I have to see another specialist for that. Also, they're concerned about the seizure activity in my brain (I know, again with this darn brain!), so I have to have even MORE tests for that. So I'm get to be put through test after grueling test for the next few months. I'm so excited!! Or not. I'm pretty sure I have the right to say THIS. SUCKS. I'm pretending to not be a little frightened about this, and I'd like to think I'm doing a good job at it. But what do I know, my brain is on the fritz.
In conclusion, I'd like to thank the following for making this all possible:
God, for giving me a seizure/blackout causing a car accident w/head injury, making them initially scan my brain. Also, for my Eating Disorder (As much as I hate it), for making me be already seeing a great doctor regularly who wanted to look further into my brain to make sure everything was alright, and who ordered a brain MRI with contrast, revealing the little bugger hiding in there- and for stealing my precious blood, only to find out it's damaged goods. & last (but certainly not least!), for BJ, who gave me a blessing right before the accident, setting all of this in motion. BJ is truly amazing- Thanks BJ.
The only thing I have to say is..
Thank God for health insurance.
Oh yeah, and a friend of mine sent me this song. I absolutely love it, and wanted to share it with you. (& turn the blog music off at the bottom of the page!)
Love you.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Life: Roller Coaster Style.
So heres the deal: I've been uber stressed lately. The whole no-weight-loss-methods thing is very hard for me. I've depended on them so heavily for so many years. It's almost like a druggie stopping taking their drug of choice. Okay, maybe it's not THAT bad, as mine aren't actually physically addicting.. But they're MENTALLY addicting. It's SO HARD to not have those to turn to when I need to. I've definitely been freaking out from that- but still haven't gotten any more or taken any since I rid of them! I did find a piece of weight loss gum that had slipped away.. And right when I needed gum, too. I was leaving the house and in desperate need of gum, and it was just sitting there. Waiting for me to take it and release the precious weight loss meds into my body as I chew my minty love.. I took it out of the package.. Then got SO frustrated with myself- RAN out to the big dumpster and chucked it right in there. Stupid gum..
Anyway, STRESS. Like no other.
Now, I'm seeing my new dietitian. Whom I love. She's so great- she's the same one I saw all seven(?) times I've been inpatient at uni. she helped me out so much, I feel so lucky to be able to work with her. BUT (There's always a but!) she pushes my limits. A LOT. Too much. It's SO HARD to follow her meal plan! I have to have TWO servings of fruit, TWO servings of dairy, TWENTY almonds, AND a multivitamin. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Like, as in, all of that in ONE DAY. I've been keeping up with it, but not without- FREAKING. OUT. Seriously, it's AWFUL. I feel like I'm going to die. This food is going to kill me. I know how ridiculous that sounds, but I'm just not handling all of this very well. I seriously have this unrealistic belief that this food is going to kill me. I don't want ANYTHING in my body. NOTHING, please! However, that is even MORE unrealistic (or so I've been told). So my stomach has been killing me. It isn't used to all of this food. It's being stretched and it HURTS. LIKE. *%$#&?$%. SERIOUSLY. OWW.
Now Elena (Dietitian) won't let me weigh myself either. It isn't unusual for me to wake up in a panic in the middle of the night because I need to weigh myself. I usually weigh myself multiple times a day, but Elena won't let me do it even ONCE! I broke my scale anyway.. but my mother still has one. It like to taunt me when I go downstairs. It's truly an EVIL scale. Of. The. Devil. Not being able to weigh myself is a HUGE deal for me. SO STRESSFUL!!
Now, on Thursday I had this big interview I was totally freaking out about, right? My friend BJ offered to give me a blessing before the interview because I was SO. SCARED. I want this job so badly, and I just couldn't get over my nerves! My Alex was going to let me practice drawing blood on him right before the interview as well, so I could feel more confident about it. So I leave BJs house after he gives me an amazing blessing. I'm driving, and I suddenly feel really weird.. Next thing I know, glass is shattering in on me. The car door is smashing against my arm. I HAVE NO IDEA WHATS HAPPENING. I'M SO SCARED. After a little while, I noticed the car had stopped. After sitting there WHO KNOWS how long, I realize I need to put the car in park. I can't think straight. I feel confused. And terrified. After sitting there for- again- WHO KNOWS how long, I grab my cell. I try to call BJ. I don't have his number in my new phone. I call my friend Cindy, BJs mom. No answer. I call my Alex. FINALLY an answer. I don't know what to say. "I just got in a car crash. I'm scared. Call the interview people. PLEASE. Call the interview people. Bye." I never even thought to call for help. I was just so confused.. and my head hurt so bad. My phone is ringing- It's Cindy. THANK. GOD. I tell her I just crashed. By the church by their house. GET. BJ.
I sat there, unable to think. I couldn't quite comprehend what was happening.. I felt blood rushing down from my head. I think nothing of it. BJ arrived quickly. He tried to open my car door. It wont open. It's smashed beyond smashed. I just sit there. Staring. At nothing. Not thinking. Just sitting. Terrified.
Another lady and a child are suddenly there. She keeps asking me stupid questions. I just wanted to sleep. She kept telling me to keep eye contact with her and NOT close my eyes. I don't know how I did, I just remember I was upset. Stop bothering me, I'm trying to go to sleep! Seriously.. Suddenly there's a neck brace on me. Where did that come from? I have no idea. I'm being put on a hard board. Strapped in. I can't move. They're taking me away. My back hurts. I'm laying on mass amounts of sharp glass. My head hurts and there's blood getting in my eye. I think. I'm not sure, I'm so confused. They just wouldn't let me sleep. I want to tell them to fix it, but I suddenly can't remember how to tell them that. I ask for BJ. I'm scared. Why did he leave?
I realize I'm suddenly in a hospital room. I'm being moved from the hard board to a soft hospital bed. I like this. I tell the doctor I want BJ. He pages the front and BJ was in my room within minutes. I'm not as scared. I'm not as confused. I was in a car accident. But how? They take my vitals and put me on oxygen. BJ says I should call my mom. I agree. I find the number in my phone, but promptly give the phone to him. No answer. I remember the Elementary's number, and dial it. Then give the phone back to BJ. I tell to ask for Sheri Bennett and tell them her daughter's been in a car accident (Or else they'll just say she's in school right now, you can't talk to her). After speaking with her, he hangs up. Someone comes in and takes me to get some sort of brain scan. CAT scan perhaps? I don't know.
Cindy gets off work and comes to the ER with us. I'm feeling more myself-like. The nurse/doctor/dude comes in to take my blood. I ask to take it myself. To all of our surprise (& after assuring him I'm a certified phlebotomist), he allowed me to do it myself. I did it like a pro. No problem. SWEET.
I think BJ got overly embarrassed when they were sticking the heart monitors on me. It was funny. They wash the blood from my forehead to find that it's actually not too bad. GOOD! At some point my mother, Gary, and Faith Anne show up. I'm happy to see them, not feeling so alone. Then Alex shows up. I feel so loved. So motivated. So happy so many people care about me. <3
The doctor proceeded to inject morphine and some other thing into my IV line.. Ahh. And the loopyness (Yes. New word.) returns! I think I was quite interesting at that point.. haha :)
Anyway.. apparently I had a stress related seizure whilst driving.. Oops. I need to stop being so STRESSED about everything!! Luckily no other cars were involved!! The doctor kindly wrote it up as an isolated incident, so I get to keep my license. THANK YOU!
I'm so stressed I missed that interview. Have to reschedule a new one. NNOOO!!! And I totaled our only car. And my head hasn't stopped hurting since then. Luckily it's only mild, and Tylenol has become my new best friend. And I'm still uber stressed about the first things I talked about. Awesome. MORE stress. Just what I need!!
I'm happier and more energetic with the food in my body.. Sadly, that has no effect on my massive amounts of stress. Darn. I hope I can keep this up. I'm tough. I can do this. Fall down seven times- Stand up EIGHT.
..And for the grand finale..
I call this one "Mary Lynn with a head injury and on butloads of morphine"
Anyway, STRESS. Like no other.
Now, I'm seeing my new dietitian. Whom I love. She's so great- she's the same one I saw all seven(?) times I've been inpatient at uni. she helped me out so much, I feel so lucky to be able to work with her. BUT (There's always a but!) she pushes my limits. A LOT. Too much. It's SO HARD to follow her meal plan! I have to have TWO servings of fruit, TWO servings of dairy, TWENTY almonds, AND a multivitamin. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Like, as in, all of that in ONE DAY. I've been keeping up with it, but not without- FREAKING. OUT. Seriously, it's AWFUL. I feel like I'm going to die. This food is going to kill me. I know how ridiculous that sounds, but I'm just not handling all of this very well. I seriously have this unrealistic belief that this food is going to kill me. I don't want ANYTHING in my body. NOTHING, please! However, that is even MORE unrealistic (or so I've been told). So my stomach has been killing me. It isn't used to all of this food. It's being stretched and it HURTS. LIKE. *%$#&?$%. SERIOUSLY. OWW.
Now Elena (Dietitian) won't let me weigh myself either. It isn't unusual for me to wake up in a panic in the middle of the night because I need to weigh myself. I usually weigh myself multiple times a day, but Elena won't let me do it even ONCE! I broke my scale anyway.. but my mother still has one. It like to taunt me when I go downstairs. It's truly an EVIL scale. Of. The. Devil. Not being able to weigh myself is a HUGE deal for me. SO STRESSFUL!!
Now, on Thursday I had this big interview I was totally freaking out about, right? My friend BJ offered to give me a blessing before the interview because I was SO. SCARED. I want this job so badly, and I just couldn't get over my nerves! My Alex was going to let me practice drawing blood on him right before the interview as well, so I could feel more confident about it. So I leave BJs house after he gives me an amazing blessing. I'm driving, and I suddenly feel really weird.. Next thing I know, glass is shattering in on me. The car door is smashing against my arm. I HAVE NO IDEA WHATS HAPPENING. I'M SO SCARED. After a little while, I noticed the car had stopped. After sitting there WHO KNOWS how long, I realize I need to put the car in park. I can't think straight. I feel confused. And terrified. After sitting there for- again- WHO KNOWS how long, I grab my cell. I try to call BJ. I don't have his number in my new phone. I call my friend Cindy, BJs mom. No answer. I call my Alex. FINALLY an answer. I don't know what to say. "I just got in a car crash. I'm scared. Call the interview people. PLEASE. Call the interview people. Bye." I never even thought to call for help. I was just so confused.. and my head hurt so bad. My phone is ringing- It's Cindy. THANK. GOD. I tell her I just crashed. By the church by their house. GET. BJ.
I sat there, unable to think. I couldn't quite comprehend what was happening.. I felt blood rushing down from my head. I think nothing of it. BJ arrived quickly. He tried to open my car door. It wont open. It's smashed beyond smashed. I just sit there. Staring. At nothing. Not thinking. Just sitting. Terrified.
Another lady and a child are suddenly there. She keeps asking me stupid questions. I just wanted to sleep. She kept telling me to keep eye contact with her and NOT close my eyes. I don't know how I did, I just remember I was upset. Stop bothering me, I'm trying to go to sleep! Seriously.. Suddenly there's a neck brace on me. Where did that come from? I have no idea. I'm being put on a hard board. Strapped in. I can't move. They're taking me away. My back hurts. I'm laying on mass amounts of sharp glass. My head hurts and there's blood getting in my eye. I think. I'm not sure, I'm so confused. They just wouldn't let me sleep. I want to tell them to fix it, but I suddenly can't remember how to tell them that. I ask for BJ. I'm scared. Why did he leave?
I realize I'm suddenly in a hospital room. I'm being moved from the hard board to a soft hospital bed. I like this. I tell the doctor I want BJ. He pages the front and BJ was in my room within minutes. I'm not as scared. I'm not as confused. I was in a car accident. But how? They take my vitals and put me on oxygen. BJ says I should call my mom. I agree. I find the number in my phone, but promptly give the phone to him. No answer. I remember the Elementary's number, and dial it. Then give the phone back to BJ. I tell to ask for Sheri Bennett and tell them her daughter's been in a car accident (Or else they'll just say she's in school right now, you can't talk to her). After speaking with her, he hangs up. Someone comes in and takes me to get some sort of brain scan. CAT scan perhaps? I don't know.
Cindy gets off work and comes to the ER with us. I'm feeling more myself-like. The nurse/doctor/dude comes in to take my blood. I ask to take it myself. To all of our surprise (& after assuring him I'm a certified phlebotomist), he allowed me to do it myself. I did it like a pro. No problem. SWEET.
I think BJ got overly embarrassed when they were sticking the heart monitors on me. It was funny. They wash the blood from my forehead to find that it's actually not too bad. GOOD! At some point my mother, Gary, and Faith Anne show up. I'm happy to see them, not feeling so alone. Then Alex shows up. I feel so loved. So motivated. So happy so many people care about me. <3
The doctor proceeded to inject morphine and some other thing into my IV line.. Ahh. And the loopyness (Yes. New word.) returns! I think I was quite interesting at that point.. haha :)
Anyway.. apparently I had a stress related seizure whilst driving.. Oops. I need to stop being so STRESSED about everything!! Luckily no other cars were involved!! The doctor kindly wrote it up as an isolated incident, so I get to keep my license. THANK YOU!
I'm so stressed I missed that interview. Have to reschedule a new one. NNOOO!!! And I totaled our only car. And my head hasn't stopped hurting since then. Luckily it's only mild, and Tylenol has become my new best friend. And I'm still uber stressed about the first things I talked about. Awesome. MORE stress. Just what I need!!
I'm happier and more energetic with the food in my body.. Sadly, that has no effect on my massive amounts of stress. Darn. I hope I can keep this up. I'm tough. I can do this. Fall down seven times- Stand up EIGHT.
..And for the grand finale..
I call this one "Mary Lynn with a head injury and on butloads of morphine"
Saturday, May 30, 2009
"Going to" being the operative word..
Today was going to be a boring day. One of those days where there's nothing to do but sit around in the heat, wishing your cooler would work properly, and wishing you CAR cooling would work at ALL. With no one home but your youngest sister watching cartoons all day, so you can't leave if you even had anything to do. Which you don't. And everyone else in the family are currently spread out in other states- Massachusetts, New Hampshire, & Idaho to be exact. Yeah- it's one of THOSE days. Plus I forgot to take my anti-bipolar anti-depressant, and anti-anxiety meds before falling into my unrestful slumber last night.Needless to say, I was prepared for the worst today.Figured I'd do some cleaning- but I deep cleaned like EVERYTHING last week. Nothing left really. So I'm switching off playing piano and my guitar, figuring I'll just have a quiet relaxing "me" day. After all, I've been being bugged about just having a Mary Lynn day for quite a while. Today's as good a day as any!
So there I am, hangin' out in my loftage & strumming on my guitar.. When BAANG!! BANG!! BAANG!! I hear three loud gunshots. Within no time, ambulances, police, and fire trucks arrive outside. SOMETHING'S going on.. Something exciting! No news reporters there though.. so I'm thinking maybe suicidal people? Only IDK how they would get THREE shots off. That sounds unlikely. Hmm. I must figure this out! And to think I thought today would be boring!
and props to the ice cream man for his PERFECT timing. All the kids left their saturday cartoons & whatnot to see the big cool fire trucks and "police monsters". I think that ice cream man tripled his profits for the day from that. Kudos to you, Mr. Ice cream. KUDOS. TO. YOU.
Now THIS is why I love Magna. Never a dull moment. :)
So there I am, hangin' out in my loftage & strumming on my guitar.. When BAANG!! BANG!! BAANG!! I hear three loud gunshots. Within no time, ambulances, police, and fire trucks arrive outside. SOMETHING'S going on.. Something exciting! No news reporters there though.. so I'm thinking maybe suicidal people? Only IDK how they would get THREE shots off. That sounds unlikely. Hmm. I must figure this out! And to think I thought today would be boring!
and props to the ice cream man for his PERFECT timing. All the kids left their saturday cartoons & whatnot to see the big cool fire trucks and "police monsters". I think that ice cream man tripled his profits for the day from that. Kudos to you, Mr. Ice cream. KUDOS. TO. YOU.
Now THIS is why I love Magna. Never a dull moment. :)
Thursday, May 14, 2009
My girls.
As you may or may not know, I coach an elementary jump rope team. Yes, you read right. I coach JUMP ROPE. It's actually a pretty amazing job. I LOVE IT.
Anyway, they just had their last performance of the year. I wanted to share with you what I do, and the final result.
Here is a short video of a select few. The three girls in green are on my team, the one in red is my sister Faith Anne (who is on the other team).
Be sure you have speakers or it's not even HALF as cool. ;)
This started filming too soon, so the routine actually starts 30 seconds in.
Give it a sec to load for best quality!
Also- after the video is finished, there should be some thumbnails on the little screen. Feel free to click them and watch us perform other routines!
Anyway, they just had their last performance of the year. I wanted to share with you what I do, and the final result.
Here is a short video of a select few. The three girls in green are on my team, the one in red is my sister Faith Anne (who is on the other team).
Be sure you have speakers or it's not even HALF as cool. ;)
This started filming too soon, so the routine actually starts 30 seconds in.
Give it a sec to load for best quality!
Also- after the video is finished, there should be some thumbnails on the little screen. Feel free to click them and watch us perform other routines!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
At least it was eventful?
SO, as I may or may not have told you (probably the latter), My jump team kids were in a parade and performed at the Health fair on Saturday... Well, they were SUPPOSED to be in a parade.. but we got rained out. SO sad, since we've been working on two routines especially for the parade and the parade alone for quite some time. Luckily, I think they were more happy about not having to jump rope in a parade in the rain and less sad about not getting to perform the parade routines. :)
That was the LEAST of my worries. After my kids performed, I was talking with Kiera and these girls came up asking if we'd give them a dollar for some charitable health thing (or something of the sort). So I go back to the room we had been given for jump team to set up & practice in to get a dollar from my cute little pink wallet I keep in my purse, right?
WRONG. It's not there!! My purse was OPEN, and my wallet nowhere to be found. I've been wallet jacked. No worries though. It only had my debit card, my MOTHER'S debit card, my insurance card, my ID, my Drivers License, my Thespian card, my social security card, my old high school student cards, and my sister's safe children card. It's not like anything IMPORTANT was in there..
Yeah. HOLY CRAP. I'M. GOING. TO. DIE.
In other, equally interesting, but less important-to-Mary Lynn- news, I went to my doctor today. BAD idea. Doctors are NEVER up to any good. The ninja-quick "I'll-die-before-I'll-let-you-see-your-weight" MA wasn't there to bother me. I got a nice one who seemed to not realize the reason I was there. I, being the polite person we all know I am, didn't want to be rude and burst her bubble. Instead, I just stepped right on that scale without hesitation (A first for me, as I'm pretty good at putting up a long drawn-out fight), and she wrote it down & didn't think twice. No worries- I thought about it WAY more than twice, making up for her lack thereof. Again, just being a good person..
So that was, of course, freaking me out to no end. Not that I didn't weigh myself on four different scales at the lovely health fair or anything, but THIS one was going on RECORD. So I figure the worst is over, right? I go in the exam room, get my blood pressure done sitting, laying down, and standing up. Then I get an EKG. Two, actually. The MA left the room to ask Dr. VanHala if the results were acceptable- apparently they were not. After the second one, and finally an approval for the EKG results, the doctor finally came in. Wearing a wicked-cool duck mask (She's 8 months pregnant, so taking protective procedures against getting sick working in a doctors office). & if you're wondering- no, that had nothing to do with my story.
So continuing- She proceeds to ask me about how my ED has been doing, what new meds I'm on, if I ever saw a dietitian.. Ya know, the regular stuff. Then she feels my stomach to make sure nothing's going rotten in there, and listens to my happy healthy lungs. Then, of course, comes the listening to my heart. Now THIS she does for an unusually long time- listening, then rearranging, listening, rearranging. Finally, with a concerned look on her face, she re-checks my blood pressure, pulse, and heartbeat while I've been sitting, laying down, and standing for two minutes each. Hmm.. Fishy..
Finally, she sits me down to talk.. And informs me that my heart doesn't seem to be working very well at all. Just GREAT. The jerk. I'd rather just not know and keep going as if everything's going to be okay, ThankYouVeryMuch. Anyway, I had about a billion blood tests done, and now I have to wear a stupid 24-hour heart monitor. Oh, and I've been referred to a cardiologist to be seen 'asap'. Wicked. JERK.
Now, as a testament to the whole "when it rains, it pours"-
My cell phone is broken. As in BROKEN. Beyond compare. It won't even turn on, I feel like I've lost all contact with the outside world. Then I conveniently realized something else.. The cardiologist was supposed to contact me to tell me where to pick up my heart monitor (Which I'm SUPPOSED to be wearing at this moment) and set up my appointment. I have no idea who the cardiologist is. I have no idea where he or she works. I have no idea how to contact them. I would call my doctor, but I no longer have the number, as it was in my non-working phone. Plus, my doctor had the MA contact some other lady, who then took my EKG and medical info and electronically sent it to an unknown-to-me cardiology unit in an unknown-to-me hospital, where they reviewed the records and chose an appropriate cardiologist to take me on. How in the heck do I get through THAT chain? Hole E. Crap.
I called Tmobile, and apparently my coverage on the phone ran out two months ago. I have to buy a new one or I'm SOL. Only my debit card is gone. And my mother's debit card is gone. And I'm going to die now. Talk about a double whammy..
To make everything just THAT MUCH better, I'm driving home from therapy when.. BOOM!!! The car four cars in front of me BLOWS UP. I sh*t you not. BLEW THE HECK RIGHT UP. Exploded. Spontaneously combusted. As in. POOF. BOOM. BANG. POW! Fire and everything. Well, maybe that really DID make things a bit better! I felt much more happy after that wicked AWESOME sight. Not that it was fun to witness- it was actually pretty terrifying and made me want to explode myself, thinking of the person(s) in that car.. But I believe the whole commotion of it raised my endorphin levels, making me more excitable. And terrified. I think at least one person died- there's no way someone could have survived that. So so so so sad.
Uhm.. And they all lived happily ever after (except for the ones who didn't).
The End.
That was the LEAST of my worries. After my kids performed, I was talking with Kiera and these girls came up asking if we'd give them a dollar for some charitable health thing (or something of the sort). So I go back to the room we had been given for jump team to set up & practice in to get a dollar from my cute little pink wallet I keep in my purse, right?
WRONG. It's not there!! My purse was OPEN, and my wallet nowhere to be found. I've been wallet jacked. No worries though. It only had my debit card, my MOTHER'S debit card, my insurance card, my ID, my Drivers License, my Thespian card, my social security card, my old high school student cards, and my sister's safe children card. It's not like anything IMPORTANT was in there..
Yeah. HOLY CRAP. I'M. GOING. TO. DIE.
In other, equally interesting, but less important-to-Mary Lynn- news, I went to my doctor today. BAD idea. Doctors are NEVER up to any good. The ninja-quick "I'll-die-before-I'll-let-you-see-your-weight" MA wasn't there to bother me. I got a nice one who seemed to not realize the reason I was there. I, being the polite person we all know I am, didn't want to be rude and burst her bubble. Instead, I just stepped right on that scale without hesitation (A first for me, as I'm pretty good at putting up a long drawn-out fight), and she wrote it down & didn't think twice. No worries- I thought about it WAY more than twice, making up for her lack thereof. Again, just being a good person..
So that was, of course, freaking me out to no end. Not that I didn't weigh myself on four different scales at the lovely health fair or anything, but THIS one was going on RECORD. So I figure the worst is over, right? I go in the exam room, get my blood pressure done sitting, laying down, and standing up. Then I get an EKG. Two, actually. The MA left the room to ask Dr. VanHala if the results were acceptable- apparently they were not. After the second one, and finally an approval for the EKG results, the doctor finally came in. Wearing a wicked-cool duck mask (She's 8 months pregnant, so taking protective procedures against getting sick working in a doctors office). & if you're wondering- no, that had nothing to do with my story.
So continuing- She proceeds to ask me about how my ED has been doing, what new meds I'm on, if I ever saw a dietitian.. Ya know, the regular stuff. Then she feels my stomach to make sure nothing's going rotten in there, and listens to my happy healthy lungs. Then, of course, comes the listening to my heart. Now THIS she does for an unusually long time- listening, then rearranging, listening, rearranging. Finally, with a concerned look on her face, she re-checks my blood pressure, pulse, and heartbeat while I've been sitting, laying down, and standing for two minutes each. Hmm.. Fishy..
Finally, she sits me down to talk.. And informs me that my heart doesn't seem to be working very well at all. Just GREAT. The jerk. I'd rather just not know and keep going as if everything's going to be okay, ThankYouVeryMuch. Anyway, I had about a billion blood tests done, and now I have to wear a stupid 24-hour heart monitor. Oh, and I've been referred to a cardiologist to be seen 'asap'. Wicked. JERK.
Now, as a testament to the whole "when it rains, it pours"-
My cell phone is broken. As in BROKEN. Beyond compare. It won't even turn on, I feel like I've lost all contact with the outside world. Then I conveniently realized something else.. The cardiologist was supposed to contact me to tell me where to pick up my heart monitor (Which I'm SUPPOSED to be wearing at this moment) and set up my appointment. I have no idea who the cardiologist is. I have no idea where he or she works. I have no idea how to contact them. I would call my doctor, but I no longer have the number, as it was in my non-working phone. Plus, my doctor had the MA contact some other lady, who then took my EKG and medical info and electronically sent it to an unknown-to-me cardiology unit in an unknown-to-me hospital, where they reviewed the records and chose an appropriate cardiologist to take me on. How in the heck do I get through THAT chain? Hole E. Crap.
I called Tmobile, and apparently my coverage on the phone ran out two months ago. I have to buy a new one or I'm SOL. Only my debit card is gone. And my mother's debit card is gone. And I'm going to die now. Talk about a double whammy..
To make everything just THAT MUCH better, I'm driving home from therapy when.. BOOM!!! The car four cars in front of me BLOWS UP. I sh*t you not. BLEW THE HECK RIGHT UP. Exploded. Spontaneously combusted. As in. POOF. BOOM. BANG. POW! Fire and everything. Well, maybe that really DID make things a bit better! I felt much more happy after that wicked AWESOME sight. Not that it was fun to witness- it was actually pretty terrifying and made me want to explode myself, thinking of the person(s) in that car.. But I believe the whole commotion of it raised my endorphin levels, making me more excitable. And terrified. I think at least one person died- there's no way someone could have survived that. So so so so sad.
Uhm.. And they all lived happily ever after (except for the ones who didn't).
The End.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Art Class
This morning as I was driving my mother and youngest sister to school, we noticed a little something-something on our garage door...
Oh yes. You know what's coming.. We've been graffitied!
We used to be so proud that we've lived here for eleven years and are the only one of our neighbors that had never been graffitied. Darn... We lose.
It was a good run though, you've got to admit it. Our neighbors were all graffitied multiple times, so for us to skip out on it for so long.. Well, it was bound to happen.
Now for my REAL beef about it..
The graffiti sucks! It's not even cool looking. These guys SERIOUSLY need to take an ART CLASS or something. Their gang signs look so mundane without actual art. I'm contemplating challenging them by painting BETTER graffiti OVER it.. I'll show 'em how it's done! Psht.. Those pansies..
Here's their poor quality graffiti:
See? SO lame. They need to work on their skillz if they're ever going to go anywhere in that profession. SERIOUSLY.
Oh yes. You know what's coming.. We've been graffitied!
We used to be so proud that we've lived here for eleven years and are the only one of our neighbors that had never been graffitied. Darn... We lose.
It was a good run though, you've got to admit it. Our neighbors were all graffitied multiple times, so for us to skip out on it for so long.. Well, it was bound to happen.
Now for my REAL beef about it..
The graffiti sucks! It's not even cool looking. These guys SERIOUSLY need to take an ART CLASS or something. Their gang signs look so mundane without actual art. I'm contemplating challenging them by painting BETTER graffiti OVER it.. I'll show 'em how it's done! Psht.. Those pansies..
Here's their poor quality graffiti:
See? SO lame. They need to work on their skillz if they're ever going to go anywhere in that profession. SERIOUSLY.
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