I went to see my MD today. I originally made an apt for July 9th- the soonest she had available. Then yesterday I got a call from her office- She wanted to see me the very next day. So I set up an apt for the next day- this morning.
Now usually I have to wait forever to be called back from the waiting room (Seriously- it was over an hour last time!). Not this time though! Within five minutes my name was called. (& yes, I felt like a little school girl being chosen from the class:). Anyway, we started with the usual- Temperature, vitals, getting in a gown to check my weight (I know- how dare they not trust me to not mischievously hide heavy things in my pockets & bra or put sand in my shoes so I appear to have gained weight? I've only done that like three times..). :P
Anyway, after all of that shenanigans I usually have to wait another 20-30 minutes before Dr. Cooper finally graces me with her presence. Not this time! Oh boy, do I feel important. She came right in after I was dressed again. I know she has the results from my long & tedious 'MRI w/contrast' scan, so I figure she just wants to give me the results and get me outta there.. However, when she entered the room she looked overly concerned- making me even more suspicious that she had actually turned into a quick-moving alien-lizard-shape-shifter, who only wanted to see me so quickly so she could devour me. Wait.. Wrong story. Oh yes- I mean making me even more suspicious that something was seriously up. I soon realized something WAS indeed up. The doctor gave me some slightly less-than-ideal news:
I have a brain tumor. A mass in my brain.
I have to go in to the neurosurgery center at the U hospital to try to figure out if it's benign or malignant, if it's growing at all, and if it's causing pressure on my brain. I hope not, 'cause I like to think that I use that more times than not. Okay, maybe not THAT much, but I do use it once in a while! :P
Anyway.. My blood work came back less-than-ideal as well. There's like some chemical thing that's dangerously high, and I have to see another specialist for that. Also, they're concerned about the seizure activity in my brain (I know, again with this darn brain!), so I have to have even MORE tests for that. So I'm get to be put through test after grueling test for the next few months. I'm so excited!! Or not. I'm pretty sure I have the right to say THIS. SUCKS. I'm pretending to not be a little frightened about this, and I'd like to think I'm doing a good job at it. But what do I know, my brain is on the fritz.
In conclusion, I'd like to thank the following for making this all possible:
God, for giving me a seizure/blackout causing a car accident w/head injury, making them initially scan my brain. Also, for my Eating Disorder (As much as I hate it), for making me be already seeing a great doctor regularly who wanted to look further into my brain to make sure everything was alright, and who ordered a brain MRI with contrast, revealing the little bugger hiding in there- and for stealing my precious blood, only to find out it's damaged goods. & last (but certainly not least!), for BJ, who gave me a blessing right before the accident, setting all of this in motion. BJ is truly amazing- Thanks BJ.
The only thing I have to say is..
Thank God for health insurance.
Oh yeah, and a friend of mine sent me this song. I absolutely love it, and wanted to share it with you. (& turn the blog music off at the bottom of the page!)
Love you.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Life: Roller Coaster Style.
So heres the deal: I've been uber stressed lately. The whole no-weight-loss-methods thing is very hard for me. I've depended on them so heavily for so many years. It's almost like a druggie stopping taking their drug of choice. Okay, maybe it's not THAT bad, as mine aren't actually physically addicting.. But they're MENTALLY addicting. It's SO HARD to not have those to turn to when I need to. I've definitely been freaking out from that- but still haven't gotten any more or taken any since I rid of them! I did find a piece of weight loss gum that had slipped away.. And right when I needed gum, too. I was leaving the house and in desperate need of gum, and it was just sitting there. Waiting for me to take it and release the precious weight loss meds into my body as I chew my minty love.. I took it out of the package.. Then got SO frustrated with myself- RAN out to the big dumpster and chucked it right in there. Stupid gum..
Anyway, STRESS. Like no other.
Now, I'm seeing my new dietitian. Whom I love. She's so great- she's the same one I saw all seven(?) times I've been inpatient at uni. she helped me out so much, I feel so lucky to be able to work with her. BUT (There's always a but!) she pushes my limits. A LOT. Too much. It's SO HARD to follow her meal plan! I have to have TWO servings of fruit, TWO servings of dairy, TWENTY almonds, AND a multivitamin. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Like, as in, all of that in ONE DAY. I've been keeping up with it, but not without- FREAKING. OUT. Seriously, it's AWFUL. I feel like I'm going to die. This food is going to kill me. I know how ridiculous that sounds, but I'm just not handling all of this very well. I seriously have this unrealistic belief that this food is going to kill me. I don't want ANYTHING in my body. NOTHING, please! However, that is even MORE unrealistic (or so I've been told). So my stomach has been killing me. It isn't used to all of this food. It's being stretched and it HURTS. LIKE. *%$#&?$%. SERIOUSLY. OWW.
Now Elena (Dietitian) won't let me weigh myself either. It isn't unusual for me to wake up in a panic in the middle of the night because I need to weigh myself. I usually weigh myself multiple times a day, but Elena won't let me do it even ONCE! I broke my scale anyway.. but my mother still has one. It like to taunt me when I go downstairs. It's truly an EVIL scale. Of. The. Devil. Not being able to weigh myself is a HUGE deal for me. SO STRESSFUL!!
Now, on Thursday I had this big interview I was totally freaking out about, right? My friend BJ offered to give me a blessing before the interview because I was SO. SCARED. I want this job so badly, and I just couldn't get over my nerves! My Alex was going to let me practice drawing blood on him right before the interview as well, so I could feel more confident about it. So I leave BJs house after he gives me an amazing blessing. I'm driving, and I suddenly feel really weird.. Next thing I know, glass is shattering in on me. The car door is smashing against my arm. I HAVE NO IDEA WHATS HAPPENING. I'M SO SCARED. After a little while, I noticed the car had stopped. After sitting there WHO KNOWS how long, I realize I need to put the car in park. I can't think straight. I feel confused. And terrified. After sitting there for- again- WHO KNOWS how long, I grab my cell. I try to call BJ. I don't have his number in my new phone. I call my friend Cindy, BJs mom. No answer. I call my Alex. FINALLY an answer. I don't know what to say. "I just got in a car crash. I'm scared. Call the interview people. PLEASE. Call the interview people. Bye." I never even thought to call for help. I was just so confused.. and my head hurt so bad. My phone is ringing- It's Cindy. THANK. GOD. I tell her I just crashed. By the church by their house. GET. BJ.
I sat there, unable to think. I couldn't quite comprehend what was happening.. I felt blood rushing down from my head. I think nothing of it. BJ arrived quickly. He tried to open my car door. It wont open. It's smashed beyond smashed. I just sit there. Staring. At nothing. Not thinking. Just sitting. Terrified.
Another lady and a child are suddenly there. She keeps asking me stupid questions. I just wanted to sleep. She kept telling me to keep eye contact with her and NOT close my eyes. I don't know how I did, I just remember I was upset. Stop bothering me, I'm trying to go to sleep! Seriously.. Suddenly there's a neck brace on me. Where did that come from? I have no idea. I'm being put on a hard board. Strapped in. I can't move. They're taking me away. My back hurts. I'm laying on mass amounts of sharp glass. My head hurts and there's blood getting in my eye. I think. I'm not sure, I'm so confused. They just wouldn't let me sleep. I want to tell them to fix it, but I suddenly can't remember how to tell them that. I ask for BJ. I'm scared. Why did he leave?
I realize I'm suddenly in a hospital room. I'm being moved from the hard board to a soft hospital bed. I like this. I tell the doctor I want BJ. He pages the front and BJ was in my room within minutes. I'm not as scared. I'm not as confused. I was in a car accident. But how? They take my vitals and put me on oxygen. BJ says I should call my mom. I agree. I find the number in my phone, but promptly give the phone to him. No answer. I remember the Elementary's number, and dial it. Then give the phone back to BJ. I tell to ask for Sheri Bennett and tell them her daughter's been in a car accident (Or else they'll just say she's in school right now, you can't talk to her). After speaking with her, he hangs up. Someone comes in and takes me to get some sort of brain scan. CAT scan perhaps? I don't know.
Cindy gets off work and comes to the ER with us. I'm feeling more myself-like. The nurse/doctor/dude comes in to take my blood. I ask to take it myself. To all of our surprise (& after assuring him I'm a certified phlebotomist), he allowed me to do it myself. I did it like a pro. No problem. SWEET.
I think BJ got overly embarrassed when they were sticking the heart monitors on me. It was funny. They wash the blood from my forehead to find that it's actually not too bad. GOOD! At some point my mother, Gary, and Faith Anne show up. I'm happy to see them, not feeling so alone. Then Alex shows up. I feel so loved. So motivated. So happy so many people care about me. <3
The doctor proceeded to inject morphine and some other thing into my IV line.. Ahh. And the loopyness (Yes. New word.) returns! I think I was quite interesting at that point.. haha :)
Anyway.. apparently I had a stress related seizure whilst driving.. Oops. I need to stop being so STRESSED about everything!! Luckily no other cars were involved!! The doctor kindly wrote it up as an isolated incident, so I get to keep my license. THANK YOU!
I'm so stressed I missed that interview. Have to reschedule a new one. NNOOO!!! And I totaled our only car. And my head hasn't stopped hurting since then. Luckily it's only mild, and Tylenol has become my new best friend. And I'm still uber stressed about the first things I talked about. Awesome. MORE stress. Just what I need!!
I'm happier and more energetic with the food in my body.. Sadly, that has no effect on my massive amounts of stress. Darn. I hope I can keep this up. I'm tough. I can do this. Fall down seven times- Stand up EIGHT.




..And for the grand finale..
I call this one "Mary Lynn with a head injury and on butloads of morphine"
Anyway, STRESS. Like no other.
Now, I'm seeing my new dietitian. Whom I love. She's so great- she's the same one I saw all seven(?) times I've been inpatient at uni. she helped me out so much, I feel so lucky to be able to work with her. BUT (There's always a but!) she pushes my limits. A LOT. Too much. It's SO HARD to follow her meal plan! I have to have TWO servings of fruit, TWO servings of dairy, TWENTY almonds, AND a multivitamin. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Like, as in, all of that in ONE DAY. I've been keeping up with it, but not without- FREAKING. OUT. Seriously, it's AWFUL. I feel like I'm going to die. This food is going to kill me. I know how ridiculous that sounds, but I'm just not handling all of this very well. I seriously have this unrealistic belief that this food is going to kill me. I don't want ANYTHING in my body. NOTHING, please! However, that is even MORE unrealistic (or so I've been told). So my stomach has been killing me. It isn't used to all of this food. It's being stretched and it HURTS. LIKE. *%$#&?$%. SERIOUSLY. OWW.
Now Elena (Dietitian) won't let me weigh myself either. It isn't unusual for me to wake up in a panic in the middle of the night because I need to weigh myself. I usually weigh myself multiple times a day, but Elena won't let me do it even ONCE! I broke my scale anyway.. but my mother still has one. It like to taunt me when I go downstairs. It's truly an EVIL scale. Of. The. Devil. Not being able to weigh myself is a HUGE deal for me. SO STRESSFUL!!
Now, on Thursday I had this big interview I was totally freaking out about, right? My friend BJ offered to give me a blessing before the interview because I was SO. SCARED. I want this job so badly, and I just couldn't get over my nerves! My Alex was going to let me practice drawing blood on him right before the interview as well, so I could feel more confident about it. So I leave BJs house after he gives me an amazing blessing. I'm driving, and I suddenly feel really weird.. Next thing I know, glass is shattering in on me. The car door is smashing against my arm. I HAVE NO IDEA WHATS HAPPENING. I'M SO SCARED. After a little while, I noticed the car had stopped. After sitting there WHO KNOWS how long, I realize I need to put the car in park. I can't think straight. I feel confused. And terrified. After sitting there for- again- WHO KNOWS how long, I grab my cell. I try to call BJ. I don't have his number in my new phone. I call my friend Cindy, BJs mom. No answer. I call my Alex. FINALLY an answer. I don't know what to say. "I just got in a car crash. I'm scared. Call the interview people. PLEASE. Call the interview people. Bye." I never even thought to call for help. I was just so confused.. and my head hurt so bad. My phone is ringing- It's Cindy. THANK. GOD. I tell her I just crashed. By the church by their house. GET. BJ.
I sat there, unable to think. I couldn't quite comprehend what was happening.. I felt blood rushing down from my head. I think nothing of it. BJ arrived quickly. He tried to open my car door. It wont open. It's smashed beyond smashed. I just sit there. Staring. At nothing. Not thinking. Just sitting. Terrified.
Another lady and a child are suddenly there. She keeps asking me stupid questions. I just wanted to sleep. She kept telling me to keep eye contact with her and NOT close my eyes. I don't know how I did, I just remember I was upset. Stop bothering me, I'm trying to go to sleep! Seriously.. Suddenly there's a neck brace on me. Where did that come from? I have no idea. I'm being put on a hard board. Strapped in. I can't move. They're taking me away. My back hurts. I'm laying on mass amounts of sharp glass. My head hurts and there's blood getting in my eye. I think. I'm not sure, I'm so confused. They just wouldn't let me sleep. I want to tell them to fix it, but I suddenly can't remember how to tell them that. I ask for BJ. I'm scared. Why did he leave?
I realize I'm suddenly in a hospital room. I'm being moved from the hard board to a soft hospital bed. I like this. I tell the doctor I want BJ. He pages the front and BJ was in my room within minutes. I'm not as scared. I'm not as confused. I was in a car accident. But how? They take my vitals and put me on oxygen. BJ says I should call my mom. I agree. I find the number in my phone, but promptly give the phone to him. No answer. I remember the Elementary's number, and dial it. Then give the phone back to BJ. I tell to ask for Sheri Bennett and tell them her daughter's been in a car accident (Or else they'll just say she's in school right now, you can't talk to her). After speaking with her, he hangs up. Someone comes in and takes me to get some sort of brain scan. CAT scan perhaps? I don't know.
Cindy gets off work and comes to the ER with us. I'm feeling more myself-like. The nurse/doctor/dude comes in to take my blood. I ask to take it myself. To all of our surprise (& after assuring him I'm a certified phlebotomist), he allowed me to do it myself. I did it like a pro. No problem. SWEET.
I think BJ got overly embarrassed when they were sticking the heart monitors on me. It was funny. They wash the blood from my forehead to find that it's actually not too bad. GOOD! At some point my mother, Gary, and Faith Anne show up. I'm happy to see them, not feeling so alone. Then Alex shows up. I feel so loved. So motivated. So happy so many people care about me. <3
The doctor proceeded to inject morphine and some other thing into my IV line.. Ahh. And the loopyness (Yes. New word.) returns! I think I was quite interesting at that point.. haha :)
Anyway.. apparently I had a stress related seizure whilst driving.. Oops. I need to stop being so STRESSED about everything!! Luckily no other cars were involved!! The doctor kindly wrote it up as an isolated incident, so I get to keep my license. THANK YOU!
I'm so stressed I missed that interview. Have to reschedule a new one. NNOOO!!! And I totaled our only car. And my head hasn't stopped hurting since then. Luckily it's only mild, and Tylenol has become my new best friend. And I'm still uber stressed about the first things I talked about. Awesome. MORE stress. Just what I need!!
I'm happier and more energetic with the food in my body.. Sadly, that has no effect on my massive amounts of stress. Darn. I hope I can keep this up. I'm tough. I can do this. Fall down seven times- Stand up EIGHT.




..And for the grand finale..
I call this one "Mary Lynn with a head injury and on butloads of morphine"
Labels:
Change,
Life.,
Random,
Recovery is a journey.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
"Going to" being the operative word..
Today was going to be a boring day. One of those days where there's nothing to do but sit around in the heat, wishing your cooler would work properly, and wishing you CAR cooling would work at ALL. With no one home but your youngest sister watching cartoons all day, so you can't leave if you even had anything to do. Which you don't. And everyone else in the family are currently spread out in other states- Massachusetts, New Hampshire, & Idaho to be exact. Yeah- it's one of THOSE days. Plus I forgot to take my anti-bipolar anti-depressant, and anti-anxiety meds before falling into my unrestful slumber last night.Needless to say, I was prepared for the worst today.Figured I'd do some cleaning- but I deep cleaned like EVERYTHING last week. Nothing left really. So I'm switching off playing piano and my guitar, figuring I'll just have a quiet relaxing "me" day. After all, I've been being bugged about just having a Mary Lynn day for quite a while. Today's as good a day as any!
So there I am, hangin' out in my loftage & strumming on my guitar.. When BAANG!! BANG!! BAANG!! I hear three loud gunshots. Within no time, ambulances, police, and fire trucks arrive outside. SOMETHING'S going on.. Something exciting! No news reporters there though.. so I'm thinking maybe suicidal people? Only IDK how they would get THREE shots off. That sounds unlikely. Hmm. I must figure this out! And to think I thought today would be boring!
and props to the ice cream man for his PERFECT timing. All the kids left their saturday cartoons & whatnot to see the big cool fire trucks and "police monsters". I think that ice cream man tripled his profits for the day from that. Kudos to you, Mr. Ice cream. KUDOS. TO. YOU.
Now THIS is why I love Magna. Never a dull moment. :)
So there I am, hangin' out in my loftage & strumming on my guitar.. When BAANG!! BANG!! BAANG!! I hear three loud gunshots. Within no time, ambulances, police, and fire trucks arrive outside. SOMETHING'S going on.. Something exciting! No news reporters there though.. so I'm thinking maybe suicidal people? Only IDK how they would get THREE shots off. That sounds unlikely. Hmm. I must figure this out! And to think I thought today would be boring!
and props to the ice cream man for his PERFECT timing. All the kids left their saturday cartoons & whatnot to see the big cool fire trucks and "police monsters". I think that ice cream man tripled his profits for the day from that. Kudos to you, Mr. Ice cream. KUDOS. TO. YOU.
Now THIS is why I love Magna. Never a dull moment. :)
Thursday, May 14, 2009
My girls.
As you may or may not know, I coach an elementary jump rope team. Yes, you read right. I coach JUMP ROPE. It's actually a pretty amazing job. I LOVE IT.
Anyway, they just had their last performance of the year. I wanted to share with you what I do, and the final result.
Here is a short video of a select few. The three girls in green are on my team, the one in red is my sister Faith Anne (who is on the other team).
Be sure you have speakers or it's not even HALF as cool. ;)
This started filming too soon, so the routine actually starts 30 seconds in.
Give it a sec to load for best quality!
Also- after the video is finished, there should be some thumbnails on the little screen. Feel free to click them and watch us perform other routines!
Anyway, they just had their last performance of the year. I wanted to share with you what I do, and the final result.
Here is a short video of a select few. The three girls in green are on my team, the one in red is my sister Faith Anne (who is on the other team).
Be sure you have speakers or it's not even HALF as cool. ;)
This started filming too soon, so the routine actually starts 30 seconds in.
Give it a sec to load for best quality!
Also- after the video is finished, there should be some thumbnails on the little screen. Feel free to click them and watch us perform other routines!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
At least it was eventful?
SO, as I may or may not have told you (probably the latter), My jump team kids were in a parade and performed at the Health fair on Saturday... Well, they were SUPPOSED to be in a parade.. but we got rained out. SO sad, since we've been working on two routines especially for the parade and the parade alone for quite some time. Luckily, I think they were more happy about not having to jump rope in a parade in the rain and less sad about not getting to perform the parade routines. :)
That was the LEAST of my worries. After my kids performed, I was talking with Kiera and these girls came up asking if we'd give them a dollar for some charitable health thing (or something of the sort). So I go back to the room we had been given for jump team to set up & practice in to get a dollar from my cute little pink wallet I keep in my purse, right?
WRONG. It's not there!! My purse was OPEN, and my wallet nowhere to be found. I've been wallet jacked. No worries though. It only had my debit card, my MOTHER'S debit card, my insurance card, my ID, my Drivers License, my Thespian card, my social security card, my old high school student cards, and my sister's safe children card. It's not like anything IMPORTANT was in there..
Yeah. HOLY CRAP. I'M. GOING. TO. DIE.
In other, equally interesting, but less important-to-Mary Lynn- news, I went to my doctor today. BAD idea. Doctors are NEVER up to any good. The ninja-quick "I'll-die-before-I'll-let-you-see-your-weight" MA wasn't there to bother me. I got a nice one who seemed to not realize the reason I was there. I, being the polite person we all know I am, didn't want to be rude and burst her bubble. Instead, I just stepped right on that scale without hesitation (A first for me, as I'm pretty good at putting up a long drawn-out fight), and she wrote it down & didn't think twice. No worries- I thought about it WAY more than twice, making up for her lack thereof. Again, just being a good person..
So that was, of course, freaking me out to no end. Not that I didn't weigh myself on four different scales at the lovely health fair or anything, but THIS one was going on RECORD. So I figure the worst is over, right? I go in the exam room, get my blood pressure done sitting, laying down, and standing up. Then I get an EKG. Two, actually. The MA left the room to ask Dr. VanHala if the results were acceptable- apparently they were not. After the second one, and finally an approval for the EKG results, the doctor finally came in. Wearing a wicked-cool duck mask (She's 8 months pregnant, so taking protective procedures against getting sick working in a doctors office). & if you're wondering- no, that had nothing to do with my story.
So continuing- She proceeds to ask me about how my ED has been doing, what new meds I'm on, if I ever saw a dietitian.. Ya know, the regular stuff. Then she feels my stomach to make sure nothing's going rotten in there, and listens to my happy healthy lungs. Then, of course, comes the listening to my heart. Now THIS she does for an unusually long time- listening, then rearranging, listening, rearranging. Finally, with a concerned look on her face, she re-checks my blood pressure, pulse, and heartbeat while I've been sitting, laying down, and standing for two minutes each. Hmm.. Fishy..
Finally, she sits me down to talk.. And informs me that my heart doesn't seem to be working very well at all. Just GREAT. The jerk. I'd rather just not know and keep going as if everything's going to be okay, ThankYouVeryMuch. Anyway, I had about a billion blood tests done, and now I have to wear a stupid 24-hour heart monitor. Oh, and I've been referred to a cardiologist to be seen 'asap'. Wicked. JERK.
Now, as a testament to the whole "when it rains, it pours"-
My cell phone is broken. As in BROKEN. Beyond compare. It won't even turn on, I feel like I've lost all contact with the outside world. Then I conveniently realized something else.. The cardiologist was supposed to contact me to tell me where to pick up my heart monitor (Which I'm SUPPOSED to be wearing at this moment) and set up my appointment. I have no idea who the cardiologist is. I have no idea where he or she works. I have no idea how to contact them. I would call my doctor, but I no longer have the number, as it was in my non-working phone. Plus, my doctor had the MA contact some other lady, who then took my EKG and medical info and electronically sent it to an unknown-to-me cardiology unit in an unknown-to-me hospital, where they reviewed the records and chose an appropriate cardiologist to take me on. How in the heck do I get through THAT chain? Hole E. Crap.
I called Tmobile, and apparently my coverage on the phone ran out two months ago. I have to buy a new one or I'm SOL. Only my debit card is gone. And my mother's debit card is gone. And I'm going to die now. Talk about a double whammy..
To make everything just THAT MUCH better, I'm driving home from therapy when.. BOOM!!! The car four cars in front of me BLOWS UP. I sh*t you not. BLEW THE HECK RIGHT UP. Exploded. Spontaneously combusted. As in. POOF. BOOM. BANG. POW! Fire and everything. Well, maybe that really DID make things a bit better! I felt much more happy after that wicked AWESOME sight. Not that it was fun to witness- it was actually pretty terrifying and made me want to explode myself, thinking of the person(s) in that car.. But I believe the whole commotion of it raised my endorphin levels, making me more excitable. And terrified. I think at least one person died- there's no way someone could have survived that. So so so so sad.
Uhm.. And they all lived happily ever after (except for the ones who didn't).
The End.
That was the LEAST of my worries. After my kids performed, I was talking with Kiera and these girls came up asking if we'd give them a dollar for some charitable health thing (or something of the sort). So I go back to the room we had been given for jump team to set up & practice in to get a dollar from my cute little pink wallet I keep in my purse, right?
WRONG. It's not there!! My purse was OPEN, and my wallet nowhere to be found. I've been wallet jacked. No worries though. It only had my debit card, my MOTHER'S debit card, my insurance card, my ID, my Drivers License, my Thespian card, my social security card, my old high school student cards, and my sister's safe children card. It's not like anything IMPORTANT was in there..
Yeah. HOLY CRAP. I'M. GOING. TO. DIE.
In other, equally interesting, but less important-to-Mary Lynn- news, I went to my doctor today. BAD idea. Doctors are NEVER up to any good. The ninja-quick "I'll-die-before-I'll-let-you-see-your-weight" MA wasn't there to bother me. I got a nice one who seemed to not realize the reason I was there. I, being the polite person we all know I am, didn't want to be rude and burst her bubble. Instead, I just stepped right on that scale without hesitation (A first for me, as I'm pretty good at putting up a long drawn-out fight), and she wrote it down & didn't think twice. No worries- I thought about it WAY more than twice, making up for her lack thereof. Again, just being a good person..
So that was, of course, freaking me out to no end. Not that I didn't weigh myself on four different scales at the lovely health fair or anything, but THIS one was going on RECORD. So I figure the worst is over, right? I go in the exam room, get my blood pressure done sitting, laying down, and standing up. Then I get an EKG. Two, actually. The MA left the room to ask Dr. VanHala if the results were acceptable- apparently they were not. After the second one, and finally an approval for the EKG results, the doctor finally came in. Wearing a wicked-cool duck mask (She's 8 months pregnant, so taking protective procedures against getting sick working in a doctors office). & if you're wondering- no, that had nothing to do with my story.
So continuing- She proceeds to ask me about how my ED has been doing, what new meds I'm on, if I ever saw a dietitian.. Ya know, the regular stuff. Then she feels my stomach to make sure nothing's going rotten in there, and listens to my happy healthy lungs. Then, of course, comes the listening to my heart. Now THIS she does for an unusually long time- listening, then rearranging, listening, rearranging. Finally, with a concerned look on her face, she re-checks my blood pressure, pulse, and heartbeat while I've been sitting, laying down, and standing for two minutes each. Hmm.. Fishy..
Finally, she sits me down to talk.. And informs me that my heart doesn't seem to be working very well at all. Just GREAT. The jerk. I'd rather just not know and keep going as if everything's going to be okay, ThankYouVeryMuch. Anyway, I had about a billion blood tests done, and now I have to wear a stupid 24-hour heart monitor. Oh, and I've been referred to a cardiologist to be seen 'asap'. Wicked. JERK.
Now, as a testament to the whole "when it rains, it pours"-
My cell phone is broken. As in BROKEN. Beyond compare. It won't even turn on, I feel like I've lost all contact with the outside world. Then I conveniently realized something else.. The cardiologist was supposed to contact me to tell me where to pick up my heart monitor (Which I'm SUPPOSED to be wearing at this moment) and set up my appointment. I have no idea who the cardiologist is. I have no idea where he or she works. I have no idea how to contact them. I would call my doctor, but I no longer have the number, as it was in my non-working phone. Plus, my doctor had the MA contact some other lady, who then took my EKG and medical info and electronically sent it to an unknown-to-me cardiology unit in an unknown-to-me hospital, where they reviewed the records and chose an appropriate cardiologist to take me on. How in the heck do I get through THAT chain? Hole E. Crap.
I called Tmobile, and apparently my coverage on the phone ran out two months ago. I have to buy a new one or I'm SOL. Only my debit card is gone. And my mother's debit card is gone. And I'm going to die now. Talk about a double whammy..
To make everything just THAT MUCH better, I'm driving home from therapy when.. BOOM!!! The car four cars in front of me BLOWS UP. I sh*t you not. BLEW THE HECK RIGHT UP. Exploded. Spontaneously combusted. As in. POOF. BOOM. BANG. POW! Fire and everything. Well, maybe that really DID make things a bit better! I felt much more happy after that wicked AWESOME sight. Not that it was fun to witness- it was actually pretty terrifying and made me want to explode myself, thinking of the person(s) in that car.. But I believe the whole commotion of it raised my endorphin levels, making me more excitable. And terrified. I think at least one person died- there's no way someone could have survived that. So so so so sad.
Uhm.. And they all lived happily ever after (except for the ones who didn't).
The End.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Art Class
This morning as I was driving my mother and youngest sister to school, we noticed a little something-something on our garage door...
Oh yes. You know what's coming.. We've been graffitied!
We used to be so proud that we've lived here for eleven years and are the only one of our neighbors that had never been graffitied. Darn... We lose.
It was a good run though, you've got to admit it. Our neighbors were all graffitied multiple times, so for us to skip out on it for so long.. Well, it was bound to happen.
Now for my REAL beef about it..
The graffiti sucks! It's not even cool looking. These guys SERIOUSLY need to take an ART CLASS or something. Their gang signs look so mundane without actual art. I'm contemplating challenging them by painting BETTER graffiti OVER it.. I'll show 'em how it's done! Psht.. Those pansies..
Here's their poor quality graffiti:

See? SO lame. They need to work on their skillz if they're ever going to go anywhere in that profession. SERIOUSLY.
Oh yes. You know what's coming.. We've been graffitied!
We used to be so proud that we've lived here for eleven years and are the only one of our neighbors that had never been graffitied. Darn... We lose.
It was a good run though, you've got to admit it. Our neighbors were all graffitied multiple times, so for us to skip out on it for so long.. Well, it was bound to happen.
Now for my REAL beef about it..
The graffiti sucks! It's not even cool looking. These guys SERIOUSLY need to take an ART CLASS or something. Their gang signs look so mundane without actual art. I'm contemplating challenging them by painting BETTER graffiti OVER it.. I'll show 'em how it's done! Psht.. Those pansies..
Here's their poor quality graffiti:

See? SO lame. They need to work on their skillz if they're ever going to go anywhere in that profession. SERIOUSLY.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Shinanigans. & Other stuff too. :)
Firstly, I'd like you to pause for a moment and take a gander at THIS:

I know, it's a small poor quality picture of some weird piece of paper, right?
WRONG! That is a diploma stating that I, Mary Lynn Bennett, have officially graduated from USP and am now a Certified Phlebotomist in the State of Utah. OH YES. Take THAT.
:D
In other news, do you know this man?:

What? NO?? Well let me fill you in then.. This is Alex. The sweetest, most caring, most hilarious, most sensitive, most loving, most AMAZING guy you've ever not met. He's also my boyfriend (Sorry ladies!). Anyway, We've been dating for about a month, but I've known him for a year and a half. He really is such a great guy. And on Monday night, he told me he loved me for the first time. It wasn't one of those passing moments where you just say it to say it either. I had been having a rough time and started breaking out in tears despite my efforts to conceal my anguish. He just hugged me, said to just let it all out, and held me until I had. After I calmed down and we talked through it a bit, He paused- looked right into my eyes and said
"Mary Lynn?"
(me)"..Yeah?"
"I love you."
It totally just made my heart melt in two. I love this man.
I love my Alex.

I know, it's a small poor quality picture of some weird piece of paper, right?
WRONG! That is a diploma stating that I, Mary Lynn Bennett, have officially graduated from USP and am now a Certified Phlebotomist in the State of Utah. OH YES. Take THAT.
:D
In other news, do you know this man?:

What? NO?? Well let me fill you in then.. This is Alex. The sweetest, most caring, most hilarious, most sensitive, most loving, most AMAZING guy you've ever not met. He's also my boyfriend (Sorry ladies!). Anyway, We've been dating for about a month, but I've known him for a year and a half. He really is such a great guy. And on Monday night, he told me he loved me for the first time. It wasn't one of those passing moments where you just say it to say it either. I had been having a rough time and started breaking out in tears despite my efforts to conceal my anguish. He just hugged me, said to just let it all out, and held me until I had. After I calmed down and we talked through it a bit, He paused- looked right into my eyes and said
"Mary Lynn?"
(me)"..Yeah?"
"I love you."
It totally just made my heart melt in two. I love this man.
I love my Alex.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
I met the President!!!
Next up on our list of crazies is LUCY. Lucy is a.. Fifty-something? Dare I say sixty-something? .. year old woman. Lucy is usually quite quiet and reserved. However, she definitely has her moments.
Med time, for example. EVERY time it's time for meds, she throws a fit. "No, I don't need any &^$%$ Meds! Doctor says I'm going home in an hour, don't need 'em anymore."
"Uhm.. Lucy, you're still on observation. You haven't even met with your doctor yet..."
"I know, but he just told me to not take my meds anymore because I'm going home in an hour. Bye guys, sorry."
..Yeah. Lucy wasn't going ANYWHERE. By the end of the fit, she always agrees to take them. "Since I'm leaving anyway.."
haha.
Also, Lucy has QUITE the resume. APPARENTLY, Lucy is:
President of the FBI.
President of the CIA.
Vice-President of the FBI
Vice-President of the CIA (Apparently the original vice-pres. weren't doing their jobs, so Lucy fired them and decided to do it herself. What a woman!)
President of the Food & Drug Administration
THE Las Vegas Comedian.
Elvis Presley's CURRENT seamstress. (That's right. He only died for a minute. The news forgot to cover that he came back alive again. Oops!) (Also, did I mention Hilary Clinton is apparently a clone? The real one died whilst her husband was in office! It's a good thing she didn't become our president... Can't have those darn clone-presidents running everything.. Not AGAIN...)
A Supreme Court Judge.
The MOTHER of a supreme court judge.
The old governor of UTAH.
When she was ONE year old, she was adopted into the US, and had to SUPPORT her family. ..So she went to work! She bacame a cowgirl, training horses for a living. YES. At ONE year old. I know. AMAZING.
THEN, as a '1-2' yr. old, she got a job at the local convenience store. Sadly, the owner didn't know how to manage a business.. But luckily, this great one year old he hired DOES! Being the kind person we all know she is, she decided to teach him how. (I know. GENEROUS.)
Then she noticed in order to get around in their cars, people needed gas.. So she built a gas station next door and single-handedly installed those gas pumps.
AND THAT'S HOW GAS CAME TO AMERICA.
If THAT doesn't make lucy meet the criteria for my most interesting people, I don't know what does!
Plus, she has a wicked awesome wannabe 'stache-beard. ..And you thought only MEN grew facial hair!
Now, for the grand finale:
Lucy is also... You heard it...
The CURRENT PRESIDENT of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
That's right. Obama is a cover-up for her. Isn't that kind of him to do for her??
I thought so, too.
Med time, for example. EVERY time it's time for meds, she throws a fit. "No, I don't need any &^$%$ Meds! Doctor says I'm going home in an hour, don't need 'em anymore."
"Uhm.. Lucy, you're still on observation. You haven't even met with your doctor yet..."
"I know, but he just told me to not take my meds anymore because I'm going home in an hour. Bye guys, sorry."
..Yeah. Lucy wasn't going ANYWHERE. By the end of the fit, she always agrees to take them. "Since I'm leaving anyway.."
haha.
Also, Lucy has QUITE the resume. APPARENTLY, Lucy is:
President of the FBI.
President of the CIA.
Vice-President of the FBI
Vice-President of the CIA (Apparently the original vice-pres. weren't doing their jobs, so Lucy fired them and decided to do it herself. What a woman!)
President of the Food & Drug Administration
THE Las Vegas Comedian.
Elvis Presley's CURRENT seamstress. (That's right. He only died for a minute. The news forgot to cover that he came back alive again. Oops!) (Also, did I mention Hilary Clinton is apparently a clone? The real one died whilst her husband was in office! It's a good thing she didn't become our president... Can't have those darn clone-presidents running everything.. Not AGAIN...)
A Supreme Court Judge.
The MOTHER of a supreme court judge.
The old governor of UTAH.
When she was ONE year old, she was adopted into the US, and had to SUPPORT her family. ..So she went to work! She bacame a cowgirl, training horses for a living. YES. At ONE year old. I know. AMAZING.
THEN, as a '1-2' yr. old, she got a job at the local convenience store. Sadly, the owner didn't know how to manage a business.. But luckily, this great one year old he hired DOES! Being the kind person we all know she is, she decided to teach him how. (I know. GENEROUS.)
Then she noticed in order to get around in their cars, people needed gas.. So she built a gas station next door and single-handedly installed those gas pumps.
AND THAT'S HOW GAS CAME TO AMERICA.
If THAT doesn't make lucy meet the criteria for my most interesting people, I don't know what does!
Plus, she has a wicked awesome wannabe 'stache-beard. ..And you thought only MEN grew facial hair!
Now, for the grand finale:
Lucy is also... You heard it...
The CURRENT PRESIDENT of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
That's right. Obama is a cover-up for her. Isn't that kind of him to do for her??
I thought so, too.
Monday, March 30, 2009
The Funniest People I've Ever Met. (Part 2)
Next up, we have Flora! Okay, so I can't actually remember her name (Bad Mary Lynn!), but I'm sure it's something like that. Flora makes a good old person name anyway.
SO- Flora. Flora is a sixty-something year old woman. My first rommie, actually. At first glance, there's really nothing wrong with Flora, aside from being a bit old and forgetful. At second glance, there's really nothing wrong with Flora. At third glance, ..Well, you get the picture. So what in the world is wrong with Flora? Well, I'm sure there are lots of things. After all, they don't put you in there unless you are crazy or trying to kill yourself (Whether that be suicide, drug addictions, or Eating Disorder). .. So why is she there? Well, I did finally figure out one reason. Flora has a strong english accent. -A very cute one at that! The only problem is.. She's from Boston. Born & raised. Are her parents from England? No. Relatives? No. Friends? No.
ANYONE??
Nope. She definitely should not have an english accent. ..And she seemed a bit confused when asked where she grew up, etc. HA! Poor Flora. Poor. HILARIOUS. Flora.
More Later. Again. I need to pack- We're leaving to Boston in the morning, and I haven't even begun! Oops.
SO- Flora. Flora is a sixty-something year old woman. My first rommie, actually. At first glance, there's really nothing wrong with Flora, aside from being a bit old and forgetful. At second glance, there's really nothing wrong with Flora. At third glance, ..Well, you get the picture. So what in the world is wrong with Flora? Well, I'm sure there are lots of things. After all, they don't put you in there unless you are crazy or trying to kill yourself (Whether that be suicide, drug addictions, or Eating Disorder). .. So why is she there? Well, I did finally figure out one reason. Flora has a strong english accent. -A very cute one at that! The only problem is.. She's from Boston. Born & raised. Are her parents from England? No. Relatives? No. Friends? No.
ANYONE??
Nope. She definitely should not have an english accent. ..And she seemed a bit confused when asked where she grew up, etc. HA! Poor Flora. Poor. HILARIOUS. Flora.
More Later. Again. I need to pack- We're leaving to Boston in the morning, and I haven't even begun! Oops.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
The Funniest People I've Ever Met. (Part 1)
I said I'd write about the... 'interesting'.. people I met IP, so here goes:
(I'm only going to put a few, as I'm a bit crunched on time. More later.)
First off, we have 'JohnDowers'. His first name is John, Last name 'Dowers' (Last name has been changed for obvious privacy reasons). We weren't supposed to say last names, but he just never got it. ..
John: "Hi, I'm JohnDowers. You're MaryLou?"
Mary Lynn: "It's Mary Lynn.. And remember we aren't supposed to use last names, John."
John: "Not John. JohnDowers."
Mary Lynn: "I know, But we are supposed to keep last names to ourselves, remember?"
John: "Alright. Just call me Mr. Dowers then."
Mary Lynn: "That's still your last name"
John: "Okay, just call me John then. Thanks for reminding me, MaryEllen."
Mary Lynn: "You're welcome, John."
John: "The name's JohnDowers."
John is a fifty-something year old alcoholic with.. SOME kind of mental fluke. It's hard to tell which one with some folks. When he first came in, he was drunk (Or so we suspected). I meet him walking from my room to the day room.
John: (Looking me up & down) "You're lookin' sharp. Yes sir, very sharp. I wish you were my wife. I'm already married though, sorry it can't happen. ..Very sharp, very sharp. You should be my wife. What's your name?"
Mary Lynn: "Uhh.. It's Mary Lynn. What was yours?"
John: "JohnDowers. Nice to meet you, MaryBeth."
*A psych Tech walks up, noticing how uncomfortable I am with him talking to me*
Simon: "Hi John. I'm Simon, I'm one of the psych techs tonight."
John: "I'm JohnDowers. This is my wife MaryAnne."
Simon: "Oh? I don't think Mary LYNN is married though."
John. : "She's not, she's my wife."
Simon: "Oooooohh..."
..Right. Talk about hilarious! (And moderately horrifying..)
Next up, we have Clark. More appropriately, we have Clark/Slayer/Annie/Brennan.
Oh yes, it's multiple personalities. Clark is a sweet kind of quiet eighteen year old boy. However, he switched to other people frequently.
Mary Lynn: "Hey Clark, how old are you?"
Clark: "Eighteen."
Mary Lynn: "Oh, okay. Can I talk to slayer?"
Clark: "Sure."
Slayer: "HELLO."
Mary Lynn: Hey. How old are ya, bro?"
Slayer: " ..INFINITE."
Mary Lynn: "Oh, cool. That's pretty old, man."
Slayer: "YESSS. IT ISSS"
Mary Lynn: Hey, so can I talk to Annie?"
Slayer: "INDEED. Later, duuude."
Annie: "Oh, hi! How are you?"
Mary Lynn: "Hey Annie. I'm good, how about yourself?"
Annie: "I'm doing just fine, thank you for asking."
Mary Lynn: "Hey, so question- how old are you?"
Annie: "Hmm... Actually, I'm not quite sure."
Mary Lynn: "Oh, alright. Well can I talk to Brennan?"
Annie: "Oh, sure!"
Brennan: "Hey!!"
Mary Lynn: "Heya Brennan! Whatcha been up to?"
Brennan: "Nothing. Just.. Ya know, sitting here being bored and stuff."
Mary Lynn: "Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe we can play a game later. Hey, can I ask you a question?"
Brennan: "Yep."
Mary Lynn: "How old are you?"
Brennan: "Oh. I'm nine and a half ALMOST ten!"
Mary Lynn: "That's exciting! When's your birthday?"
Brennen: "Uhm.. I can't really remember. Ask my mom."
Mary Lynn: "Oh, okay. Can I talk to Clark again?"
Brennan: "But I'm bored."
Mary Lynn:"Please?"
Brennan: "Okay..."
Clark: "Hey MaryLee."
Mary Lynn: "Hey Clark. Wanna do a puzzle?"
Clark: "Sure."
So there's 'JohnDowers' and Clark for ya.
Comment if you wish! :P
More later.
(I'm only going to put a few, as I'm a bit crunched on time. More later.)
First off, we have 'JohnDowers'. His first name is John, Last name 'Dowers' (Last name has been changed for obvious privacy reasons). We weren't supposed to say last names, but he just never got it. ..
John: "Hi, I'm JohnDowers. You're MaryLou?"
Mary Lynn: "It's Mary Lynn.. And remember we aren't supposed to use last names, John."
John: "Not John. JohnDowers."
Mary Lynn: "I know, But we are supposed to keep last names to ourselves, remember?"
John: "Alright. Just call me Mr. Dowers then."
Mary Lynn: "That's still your last name"
John: "Okay, just call me John then. Thanks for reminding me, MaryEllen."
Mary Lynn: "You're welcome, John."
John: "The name's JohnDowers."
John is a fifty-something year old alcoholic with.. SOME kind of mental fluke. It's hard to tell which one with some folks. When he first came in, he was drunk (Or so we suspected). I meet him walking from my room to the day room.
John: (Looking me up & down) "You're lookin' sharp. Yes sir, very sharp. I wish you were my wife. I'm already married though, sorry it can't happen. ..Very sharp, very sharp. You should be my wife. What's your name?"
Mary Lynn: "Uhh.. It's Mary Lynn. What was yours?"
John: "JohnDowers. Nice to meet you, MaryBeth."
*A psych Tech walks up, noticing how uncomfortable I am with him talking to me*
Simon: "Hi John. I'm Simon, I'm one of the psych techs tonight."
John: "I'm JohnDowers. This is my wife MaryAnne."
Simon: "Oh? I don't think Mary LYNN is married though."
John. : "She's not, she's my wife."
Simon: "Oooooohh..."
..Right. Talk about hilarious! (And moderately horrifying..)
Next up, we have Clark. More appropriately, we have Clark/Slayer/Annie/Brennan.
Oh yes, it's multiple personalities. Clark is a sweet kind of quiet eighteen year old boy. However, he switched to other people frequently.
Mary Lynn: "Hey Clark, how old are you?"
Clark: "Eighteen."
Mary Lynn: "Oh, okay. Can I talk to slayer?"
Clark: "Sure."
Slayer: "HELLO."
Mary Lynn: Hey. How old are ya, bro?"
Slayer: " ..INFINITE."
Mary Lynn: "Oh, cool. That's pretty old, man."
Slayer: "YESSS. IT ISSS"
Mary Lynn: Hey, so can I talk to Annie?"
Slayer: "INDEED. Later, duuude."
Annie: "Oh, hi! How are you?"
Mary Lynn: "Hey Annie. I'm good, how about yourself?"
Annie: "I'm doing just fine, thank you for asking."
Mary Lynn: "Hey, so question- how old are you?"
Annie: "Hmm... Actually, I'm not quite sure."
Mary Lynn: "Oh, alright. Well can I talk to Brennan?"
Annie: "Oh, sure!"
Brennan: "Hey!!"
Mary Lynn: "Heya Brennan! Whatcha been up to?"
Brennan: "Nothing. Just.. Ya know, sitting here being bored and stuff."
Mary Lynn: "Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe we can play a game later. Hey, can I ask you a question?"
Brennan: "Yep."
Mary Lynn: "How old are you?"
Brennan: "Oh. I'm nine and a half ALMOST ten!"
Mary Lynn: "That's exciting! When's your birthday?"
Brennen: "Uhm.. I can't really remember. Ask my mom."
Mary Lynn: "Oh, okay. Can I talk to Clark again?"
Brennan: "But I'm bored."
Mary Lynn:"Please?"
Brennan: "Okay..."
Clark: "Hey MaryLee."
Mary Lynn: "Hey Clark. Wanna do a puzzle?"
Clark: "Sure."
So there's 'JohnDowers' and Clark for ya.
Comment if you wish! :P
More later.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Happiness
"What it means to be fully human is to strive to live by ideas and ideals. And not to measure your life by what you’ve attained in terms of your desires but those small moments of integrity, compassion, rationality. because in the end, the only way that we can measure the significance of our own lives is by valuing the lives of others. Fantasies have to be unrealistic, because the moment, the second that you get what you seek, you don’t, you can’t want it anymore. In order to exist, desire must have its objects perpetually absent. It’s not the ‘it’ that you want, it’s the fantasy of ‘it’. We are only truly happy when daydreaming about future happiness. This is why we say: the hunt is sweeter than the kill, or: be careful what you wish for - not because you’ll get it: because you’re doomed not to want it once you do. Living by your wants will never make you happy."
-Someone who is not me. :)
If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.
(Chinese Proverb)
-Someone who is not me. :)
If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.
(Chinese Proverb)
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Glasses
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