Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Starting up again

I feel like I need to start posting on here again, so I'm going to try starting up again.
I suppose I'll start with something I actually wrote down from a few months ago. The last half is something that's still difficult for me.
Here we go..

June 2014
So my mom just got married. I'm so super happy for her! She and Dave are SO perfect for each other!! I love that extra light in her eyes when she's with him. He really is a great guy, I'm so glad they found each other! My little sister Faith Anne and I helped my mom pick out her wedding dress a couple weeks ago. She's SO gorgeous in it! I mean, she's already an absolutely gorgeous woman, but WOW. Hot mamma!

  In related news, because of the marriage, my mother just sold her house- my childhood home. I have tears in my eyes just writing that sentence. I can't believe it. I'm so sick over this. I've always imagined living there with my own family some day. Watching my children learn and grow, making memories of their own where I once made mine. Running around the house, playing jailbreak outside, building cities in the sandbox, helping grow the garden, picking delicious grapes from the vines..

  Suddenly the images of my future life have been pulled right from under me. My most cherished place in the whole world is gone. The one place I've ever been able to truly call home, the place my heart has been for so many years, is gone. I have no home to go back to. I know it seems like an overreaction, but that's my home. I just can't believe it's gone. My dreams of a future, my memories of a wonderful past, have just come crashing down on me.

  Worse than that, it feels as if my mother is controlling the wrecking ball. I want to cry out to her, to let her know I'm in here, but she can't hear me. She's too busy using the wrecking ball with Dave. It's too loud. I'm trapped.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

One month

Oh my goodness, I haven't posted in like FOREVER! Okay, so here's just the last MONTH of life:
My mom got married!! AND sold my childhood home (not loving that part). AANNDD she, Faith, and Dave (her new HUSBAND) moved to Bountiful! It's been so crazy and hectic! And Faith Anne went to Boston with our dad and Elisabeth for the summer! And.. school's out! I miss my kids so so much!! I'm working at a low income school for the summer program (which ends tomorrow! Oh no!), and it's been very challenging. Most of my students are refugees from different countries. I have students from Somalia, Ethiopia, India, Afghanistan, China, and then three from Mexico. I don't have any white kids, lol! Most of them are sufficient in English, but I have two who know almost nothing. One is a quiet but VERY stubborn boy from China (who likes to hit), and the most challenging is the little girl from Afghanistan. She knows her alphabet & can count pretty high. Other than that, she only knows a few words. She can say water, bathroom, shut up, hit, mean, go, good, teacher, class, me, you, no, sit, stop, okay, and a few body parts. Other than that, nothing- though she's very good at mimicking, which is a great skill when you're learning a language! Anyway.. The communication barrier makes doing everything SO difficult! Oh, and just because she knows the words "no," and "stop," doesn't means she cares that I'm saying them to her.
I just applied for another job working with kids at a daycare near Liberty Park. I'm excited, the schedule would work perfectly around working at the school, and I really need the extra income! Anyway, life over here feels pretty crazy right now. I'm just glad I have a therapist! Hehe!

Loves! MaryLynn