The Funniest People I've Ever Met. (Part 1)

I said I'd write about the... 'interesting'.. people I met IP, so here goes:
(I'm only going to put a few, as I'm a bit crunched on time. More later.)

First off, we have 'JohnDowers'. His first name is John, Last name 'Dowers' (Last name has been changed for obvious privacy reasons). We weren't supposed to say last names, but he just never got it. ..

John: "Hi, I'm JohnDowers. You're MaryLou?"
Mary Lynn: "It's Mary Lynn.. And remember we aren't supposed to use last names, John."
John: "Not John. JohnDowers."
Mary Lynn: "I know, But we are supposed to keep last names to ourselves, remember?"
John: "Alright. Just call me Mr. Dowers then."
Mary Lynn: "That's still your last name"
John: "Okay, just call me John then. Thanks for reminding me, MaryEllen."
Mary Lynn: "You're welcome, John."
John: "The name's JohnDowers."

John is a fifty-something year old alcoholic with.. SOME kind of mental fluke. It's hard to tell which one with some folks. When he first came in, he was drunk (Or so we suspected). I meet him walking from my room to the day room.
John: (Looking me up & down) "You're lookin' sharp. Yes sir, very sharp. I wish you were my wife. I'm already married though, sorry it can't happen. ..Very sharp, very sharp. You should be my wife. What's your name?"
Mary Lynn: "Uhh.. It's Mary Lynn. What was yours?"
John: "JohnDowers. Nice to meet you, MaryBeth."
*A psych Tech walks up, noticing how uncomfortable I am with him talking to me*
Simon: "Hi John. I'm Simon, I'm one of the psych techs tonight."
John: "I'm JohnDowers. This is my wife MaryAnne."
Simon: "Oh? I don't think Mary LYNN is married though."
John. : "She's not, she's my wife."
Simon: "Oooooohh..."
..Right. Talk about hilarious! (And moderately horrifying..)


Next up, we have Clark. More appropriately, we have Clark/Slayer/Annie/Brennan.
Oh yes, it's multiple personalities. Clark is a sweet kind of quiet eighteen year old boy. However, he switched to other people frequently.
Mary Lynn: "Hey Clark, how old are you?"
Clark: "Eighteen."
Mary Lynn: "Oh, okay. Can I talk to slayer?"
Clark: "Sure."
Slayer: "HELLO."
Mary Lynn: Hey. How old are ya, bro?"
Slayer: " ..INFINITE."
Mary Lynn: "Oh, cool. That's pretty old, man."
Slayer: "YESSS. IT ISSS"
Mary Lynn: Hey, so can I talk to Annie?"
Slayer: "INDEED. Later, duuude."
Annie: "Oh, hi! How are you?"
Mary Lynn: "Hey Annie. I'm good, how about yourself?"
Annie: "I'm doing just fine, thank you for asking."
Mary Lynn: "Hey, so question- how old are you?"
Annie: "Hmm... Actually, I'm not quite sure."
Mary Lynn: "Oh, alright. Well can I talk to Brennan?"
Annie: "Oh, sure!"
Brennan: "Hey!!"
Mary Lynn: "Heya Brennan! Whatcha been up to?"
Brennan: "Nothing. Just.. Ya know, sitting here being bored and stuff."
Mary Lynn: "Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe we can play a game later. Hey, can I ask you a question?"
Brennan: "Yep."
Mary Lynn: "How old are you?"
Brennan: "Oh. I'm nine and a half ALMOST ten!"
Mary Lynn: "That's exciting! When's your birthday?"
Brennen: "Uhm.. I can't really remember. Ask my mom."
Mary Lynn: "Oh, okay. Can I talk to Clark again?"
Brennan: "But I'm bored."
Mary Lynn:"Please?"
Brennan: "Okay..."
Clark: "Hey MaryLee."
Mary Lynn: "Hey Clark. Wanna do a puzzle?"
Clark: "Sure."


So there's 'JohnDowers' and Clark for ya.
Comment if you wish! :P
More later.