Happy & Proud!

I'm sorry I haven't written in a while, I just never felt the moment was right to write.

First off are my medical updates:


I've finally been diagnosed with Epilepsy. If it's not one thing, it's another. It DOES explain a LOT though!! I hate this though. I'm not allowed to take baths- If I have an epileptic episode, I'll quickly breath in the water and die. I HATE showers. I always take baths. I think it's a family thing- my big sis Leelou will only take baths, as well as my father. I've still been taking baths. I know it's very dangerous, and it scares me very much- but I just can't do showers- they freak me out.

Also, I'm not allowed to drive within three months of having an epileptic episode. What am I supposed to do without a car?!!? It's okay, I'll drive anyway.
However, it scares me to death every time I drive now. I'm in this panic state, it's awful even thinking about it.



I've recently had the great opportunity to start meeting with a great dietitian, Elena. She's been helping me SO much!! She even got me in to see a psychologist named Wendy. Both Elena and Wendy are Eating Disorder specialists. I'm also going to continue seeing my Social Worker, Miriam and my great doctor (who also specializes in EDs), Lesli. I finally have my support team in place!! Not to mention Alesia, my Psychiatrist. And my Alex! He is SO supportive and helpful! I finally feel like I can do this. I can conquer this time!! 18th time's a charm, right? ha
I've been doing so well in recovery, despite everything that's coming my way! I'm actually proud of myself. I've never liked myself enough to be proud. I can always do better, there's no reason to be proud of myself for being second rate.

I'm not second rate. I'm Mary Lynn. I'm whoever I wish to be. I'm not second rate.
And you know what? For the first time in a LONG time, I'm proud of myself.
I can do this.