For the past few days, I've been throwing myself a party.
Sadly, it has been a pity fest. I was quite consciously allowing myself to go downhill.
Then.. I logged on to my blogger account (so I could catch up on the daily writings of those around me), and was reminded of my new recovery blog. I noticed something.. I made it a recovery blog. I could have just made it a general 'eating disorder stuff' blog, but I didn't. I chose not to.
I subconsciously decided that recovery from my ED was more important than my ED itself. I didn't WANT to write about it, I wanted to write about getting rid of it. Deep inside of me- although it's hard for even me to see at times- I want recovery. To my very core, the very essence of Mary Lynn, this is what I want.
I have already chosen my destination.
I've chosen the path of love, the path of peace inside of myself..
I have made the decision to live.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
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6 comments:
I LOOOOVE this and I am so happy to hear this! I KNOW you want recovery - I can tell when I have talked to you, but don't be too hard on yourself about your "pity party" and temporarily losing sight of recovery because I honestly feel like that is part of the process.
Slips WILL happen, and it will probably happen again... but it's what you do afterwards to get back on track! And you are doing that now. You are getting back on that road now that your vision isn't so clouded up by the ed.
Recovery is a process of ups and downs so be gentle and patient with yourself! Love ya tons girly! : )
Good for you MaryLynn! YOU CAN DO IT!!
good for you lady :)
You're amazing. I hope you know that.
*muah*
Hi MaryLynne, it's very inspiring to read about your ups and downs with ed. My sister knows ed and a lot of the time I feel very confused and helpless as to how to help her. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I wish you the best and you deserve all the happiness.
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